Uneasy Hearts Weigh the Most
by emisonxx
Summary: AU. It's the girl's senior year of high school. Emily is still in the closet and dating Ben. Ali is still harboring dark secrets and stringing Emily along. But when Ali begins to break, will Emily be the one to put her back together? M for explicit sex, and non-con later on.
1. Fast Times at Claremont High

**AU where there is no A and the girls are still in their senior year of high school. Emily is still in the closet, and Ali is harboring dark secrets as usual. **

"Ali, what happened to you?" Spencer and Emily stared at the blonde who had just whirled into the room in shock. She looked shaken, discomfort rolling off her in waves.

"Jason just had his stupid friends over again," she huffed angrily, her eyes averting Spencer's inquisitive gaze and finding the floor to be more comforting.

"Ali did someone hurt you?" She looked up to hear sweet Emily's voice filled with worry, and nothing short of concern. The way Em's forehead creased with concern worried Ali so she shook her head and plastered an indifferent look on her face.

"No, I'm just annoyed. Do you have anything to drink?" she asked Spencer who raised an eyebrow before shaking her head.

"No, just water. But my parents are asleep, and Emily was just leaving so-"

"You can come with me," Emily interjected, her eyes showing Ali that she didn't buy her lie.

"Okay, whatever."

X

Emily drove into the night as Ali fiddled with the radio until she came across a loud, sexual song. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Ali's eyes flashed from discomfort to desperation to mischief in a matter of seconds. Ali put her hand on the swimmer's thigh and when Emily looked at her, she just flashed her mischievous grin. Emily blushed furiously and her grip on the wheel tightened as she continued to stare ahead.

"Em, what's the matter?" Ali asked knowing full well the effect she had on the swimmer.

"It's just…I don't…Ben…"

Ali frowned at the mention of the swimmer's name. She'd been testing Emily's limits lately, and she didn't know how much longer it'd be before Emily ended her 'playfulness' because of her boyfriend.

"Ben what?" Ali cooed as she slid her hand up Emily's thigh and used her thumb to rub the soft skin. Emily's breath caught in her throat and she looked too nervous to speak.

"Ali…I don't…"

Ali retracted her hand with a smug smile as they pulled up to Emily's house, satisfied that she'd complicated the swimmer's breathing.

"Calm down Em, geez."

Emily blushed even more as Ali nonchalantly hopped out of the car and waited to follow Emily into the house. Emily's head was buzzing with uncontrollable hormones that she couldn't will away, no matter how hard she tried. Ali always messed with her like this, often making fun of Emily later. But she loved the focused attention on her from the devious blonde. She was just afraid one day Ali would go too far, and she herself would lose it, and she'd ruin everything between them and Ben and everyone would find out and-

"Em?"

Emily snapped out of her daze and hadn't realized she'd already entered her bedroom. She watched as Ali shut the door behind her, her expression unreadable. Her voice had been soft, almost shaking. The swimmer tilted her head curiously. She rarely saw this side of Rosewood's queen bee.

"Yeah?"

Ali's eyes showed an internal struggle as she dragged her words out.

"Do you, um, I mean," she huffed in frustration.

"What is it Ali?"

"You care about me right?"

Emily just stared at her expecting more to the question.

"I mean like, I know we're friends, but you're not just friends with me because you're afraid of me right? You know I care about you, don't you?"

The blonde looked troubled as Emily stared at her confused.

"Of course Ali," she said quietly. Ali didn't look like she believed her. "If I was afraid of you, I wouldn't have invited you over."

Ali laughed emptily and shook her head.

"Why'd you ask?" Emily asked as she sat down on the bed and waited for the blonde to sit next to her but Ali instead came and stood between her legs in front of her.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew," Ali said softly and genuinely before that teasing glint returning to her eyes. "You're my favorite, but you knew that." Her hand came up and caressed Emily's cheek.

Before Emily could respond, Ali leaned down and pressed their lips together. Emily was shocked at first, but the haze in her brain returned immediately as Ali's soft lips moved against hers and she almost forgot to kiss her back. This wasn't their first kiss, or second, but all the others had been drunken fun and Ali always teased Em about it the next morning. But Ali's kiss grew intense quickly, and she shoved her tongue in Emily's mouth hungrily as she climbed onto the bed, both knees on either side of Emily. Emily's eyes widened as she realized what was happening and she pulled away. The look in Ali's eyes was determination mixed with need.

"Ali I can't-"

But Ali's lips were on her neck and Emily gasped as teeth scraped her skin. It took a lot in her to pull away but she did. "But Ben-"

Ali pulled away, scowling. "Shut up Em and just fucking kiss me."

Emily stared in shock, not used to the harshness in her voice or the crude bluntness. Ali's eyes widened as if she just realized the gravity of what just ensued.

"You don't want to kiss me?"Ali asked, her voice steady with a hint of desperation that showed in her eyes as well.

"No…I mean…I…I'm dating Ben…" Emily lamely argued knowing she damn well didn't care about kissing Ben. She was so confused. Yesterday Ali had been talking about how hot Noel Kahn was, and now she was demanding for Emily to kiss her.

Ali let that settle in for about two seconds before she smirked and got back that devious, seductive look on her face. She scooted off Emily and laid down on the bed.

"Okay, you're right," Ali said. "I'll just take care of myself right here."

Before Emily could register what was going on, her jaw dropped as she saw Ali's hand slip down her shorts and a low, quiet moan escaped Ali's mouth as she touched herself and her eyes shut and she arched her back. There were terrible thoughts running through innocent Emily Field's mind that she felt guilty over and had trouble processing as Ali bit her lip and kept moaning slowly moving her hand.

"Mmm Emily, you should feel this-"

Ali couldn't finish before Emily was hovering over her, kissing her hungrily- all guilt be damned. She could feel Ali smirk into the kiss and so Emily pulled her bottom lip with her teeth and sucked on it as Ali moaned into Emily's mouth. Ali's body relaxed knowing she could still get what she wanted from Emily, her sweet Emily. She flipped the two of them over and kissed Emily again, softer and sweeter this time and watched as Emily's eyes fluttered. Ali pulled back gently and sighed and rolled off facing away from Emily, guilt flooding her body. Her mind was a wreck, and she gripped the sheets and pulled them up her body frustrated.

"Ali?"

Emily's angelic, tiny voice piped up nervously after a few silent minutes and Ali's heart hurt a little hearing the pain behind it caused by her.

"It's okay Em," Ali whispered willing the swimmer to go to sleep. Her voice was void of malice or manipulation. She tried to be as sincere as possible. Though she couldn't see Emily, she could feel Emily's nerves radiating. She knew the swimmer was confused and hurt by her for so long now. She sighed and reached behind her, grabbing Emily's hand and bringing it around to hold to her chest. Emily was tense at first and relaxed as soon as her hand landed on Ali's bare skin and she felt the beating of Ali's heart as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.


	2. King for a Day

**WARNING: Really dark chapter, abuse & non-con/dub-con, a lot of nasty Cece/Ali smut.  
Also, super pissed about how tonight's episode turned out, and the direction of Emison (doesn't seem too bright). On top of that, I hate Paige. **

Earlier, before Ali had ended up touching herself on Emily's bed, she was walking home in the dark. As she walked up her front porch steps she heard voices from inside and she hesitated, wondering who was in her house. But it was all muffled, and she couldn't figure it out. So she walked in, and the lights were all off downstairs. The blonde quickly remembers that her parents are out with Spencer's, and she sighs as she climbs the stairs. The voices are louder, and she realizes there's quite a few people in Jason's room.

Ali quietly slips into her room without turning the lights on to avoid attention being drawn to her. Her brother's friends are rowdy, and some of them are monsters. She holds her head high stubbornly, telling herself she's not afraid of monsters in the dark, but as she turns around she nearly jumps out of her skin when she sees the devil staring back at her with an evil glint in her eyes.

"What do you want Cece?" Ali attempts to ask in her bitchy voice but it comes out pathetically weak and soft.

"I thought you were never coming home," the older blonde smirks as she brings her ice cold hand up to Ali's cheek, her touch sending shivers down Ali's spine in a haunting way. "A party at Jason's is never a real party without _the_ Alison DiLaurentis."

"Leave me alone Cece," Alison growls through gritted teeth as the older blonde backs her towards her dresser.

"Or what?" Cece smirks challenging Ali as she grips the blondes face with one hand and leans in with her other hand on the wall. "Or you'll tell all your little friends about me?"

"I'll tell everyone," Ali hissed. "It'll be over CeCe."

Cece scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"You won't tell. Do you want to see the look on their faces when they find out what a little slut you are? Want mommy and daddy to know? Do you want Jason to know you've been seducing all of his friends, trying to _fuck _all of them?"  
"I never-"

"Not according to us," Cece grinned.

"Is Ian here?" Ali asked, eyes widening slightly in fear.

"He's with the rest of them," Cece said as she pressed her body against Ali's. "I can invite him in here if you want."

"No Cece, don't," Alison hissed out not wanting to deal with two of them.

"What's wrong Ali? You used to be so fun, I thought you liked playing games," Cece mocked as she tightened her grip on Ali's face and dragged her other hand down over Ali's chest, to her hips, and let it slip up her shirt. Ali squirmed under Cece's cold fingers but Cece slammed her head back into the dresser and aggressively grabbed at her right breast causing Alison to shut her eyes in pain. "Don't lie Ali, you love it when I play with you."

Ali whimpered as Cece leaned in and whispered in her ear and sucked on her ear before nipping and ghosting her lips down Ali's neck. Her body involuntarily twitched and she bit her lip hard trying to suppress a moan as Cece's fingers slipped inside her bra and rolled her nipple, pinching with just enough pressure to make Ali's stomach drop as her nipple hardened.

"Cece please don't," Ali begged, dropping her pride and trying to escape this nightmare where Cece just waltzes in and _molests _her. She's just happy Ian hadn't joined in tonight too. Ali never feels safe in her own room anymore. Her back digs into the dresser as Cece presses harder.

"You sound like a pretty little slut when you moan," Cece sneers and releases her hold on Ali's face to rip Ali's shirt off leaving the young blonde in just her bra.

"Cece, where are you?"

Ali's eyes snap to the doorway as she sees a shadow in the hallway and recognizes the second voice that sends chills down her spine. She thought too soon.

"You'll never guess who I found," Cece replies as she stares straight into Ali's eyes.

Ian walks into the room and sees Ali trying to hold a glare. But the two of them see past her tough bitch look, they know she's all talk and a terrified little girl on the inside. Ian whips out his phone.

Cece laughs and pulls Alison forward before stepping behind her and bringing one hand up to hold Ali's neck with the other hand trying to undo Ali's jeans. Ali begins to struggle desperately but when Cece kisses her neck and slips a hand into her bra on her left breast, flicking the hardened nipple and grabbing her breast harshly, Ali's breath hitches and she moans softly as her body writhes under Cece's control, responding to the touches. Ian stands there like a perv, filming this on his phone with a sick smile. Cece undoes Ali's bra in seconds and lets it drop. Ali 's head snaps forward instantly embarrassed as her cheeks turn bright red and she tries to cover up but CeCe grabs her wrists in one swift motion and throws her against the wall with her hands pinned above her head. She kisses Ali, and it's toxic Ali swears because as much as she wants to deny Cece, the way Cece's hands work up and down Ali's soft skin has her hungrily kissing back. Her eyes flutter shut and the pleasure from Cece playing with her nipples and the way Cece bites her swollen lips and sucks on her neck is too much. She begins to mewl against her own will as her hips grind onto Cece.

Ian begins to laugh, and Cece pulls back with a smirk as the two older devils stare at their masterpiece- the infamous, all powerful Alison DiLaurentis topless, chest heaving, hardened nipples, wrists pinned above her head, and wearing a pained expression across her face as she whimpers from the loss of contact. He snaps some more pictures as Ali quickly shrugs a laughing Cece off of her and hugs her chest, eyes cast downward, embarrassed and angry.

"If anyone gets those Ian I swear to God-" Alison starts but he glares at her so hard the little courage she has disappears.

"You'll what, you'll tell? Who will believe you, Ali? Spencer? She'll be mad at you for teasing me. You tell them and I'll show them the pictures and they'll see you as the slut you really are."

Alison searched her mind trying to find an answer to this nightmare. She thought of the one person who would believe her as she stared at her two older tormenters.

"Emily will believe me, she won't listen to you," Alison hissed.

"Please. Emily's so afraid of you she'll love having a reason to hate you," Cece sneered as she shoved Ali backwards and Ali paled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've seen the way you two are. You think she's so into you, but that little bitch just doesn't know how to say no to you. She's scared of you, Ali. You scare her, and sure she might be hiding in the closet but you can sure as hell bet she's not going to jump out of the closet for some bitch who she's afraid of. Especially since you like to play games with her."

Ali just glared, her fists clenching at such words. She knew how it looked to the rest of the world. She _knew_ the girls thought she messed with Emily and thought it was fun to fluster her. Hell, Emily probably even thought Ali was playing games with her. But Emily was her escape, Emily was the only good she had, she _needed _Emily. Ali didn't know how to show it, but she knew Em knew she cared about her. She had to.

"You're wrong Cece. She fucking loves me, I've got her wrapped around my finger," Ali sneered right back angrily.

Cece snorted. "You're confusing love with your little games you play Ali. She doesn't love you, and you don't love her anymore than I love you. Think about how much she'd love you if she knew about how I sat there and coached you on giving a blowjob to that frat boy, or how you moaned like a little slut just now."

Ali's cheeks burned with defeat.

"I'd keep this to myself if I were you, Ali," Ian said in a low voice and Cece grinned.

"Cece, Cece where are you," the three heard Jason's stoned voice calling. The two older ones rolled their eyes.

Ali quickly dropped to her knees and scooped up her shirt and bra as they left without another word. Her hands were shaking as she put her clothes on, but instead of standing up she slumped down next to her bed and just silently cried.


	3. Love Me Harder

**This is most definitely EMISON Endgame. But Ali has a lot of baggage, and Emily has a lot of trouble trusting Ali. There will definitely be more backstory on Emily/Ali, and Cece's abuse. There are a lot of complicated issues, but I try to soften them with tender Emison moments. Hope you guys enjoy. **

"Ali, I heard you had sex over the weekend with Noel Kahn! Why didn't you tell us?" Aria said as she approached the locker where Ali and Hanna and Spencer stood. It was Monday morning, and Ali was not amused already.

"Who'd you hear that from?" Ali asked, eyes narrowing.

"Hear what?" Emily asked walking up.

"These guys in my first period class were talking about Ali having sex with Noel on Saturday," Aria finished.

Emily's heart sank. That was the day after Ali had slept over and left her house the next morning before Emily had woken up. When Emily texted her, Ali merely responded her parents needed her home and their confusing night had gone unmentioned. She looked to Ali who looked unfazed and avoided her eye contact.

"Well, I didn't," Ali said angrily. Emily breathed a little sigh of relief.

"I mean we went out and messed around, but I didn't fuck Noel," Ali hissed. Hanna nodded and Spencer just listened.

Aria turned around to see Noel with his friends at the end of the hallway. "That's so wrong Ali. We can go talk to them, put an end to their dumb rumor-"

"I'll deal with it," Ali cut her off, finally looking at Emily who suddenly found the lockers more interesting once she felt Ali's eyes on her. The blonde felt her heart sinking, the last thing she wanted was to hurt Emily. But she was constantly fleeing from her feelings from the swimmer, and she used Noel as nothing more than a body to find comfort in. A part of her was afraid that if Emily truly saw her as she was, she would be horrified and want nothing to do with her. Another part of her was afraid she'd hurt Emily severely if she tried to make things work. Still, another part of her told herself she didn't deserve Emily. Regardless of how she felt, Alison knew in the end she was always selfish and couldn't help herself- she couldn't stay away from the mermaid.

Emily stood pensively, trying to distract herself from the jealousy forming at the thought of Ali with Noel. She knew she was dating Ben. Their four month anniversary was coming up in a few days. But the thought of Ali with Noel made her stomach twist in unpleasant ways that she hated. After Ali had kissed her with such need on Friday night, all she could taste was Alison. The next morning she had thought she dreamed the whole night until she saw faint teeth marks on her neck. But Ali clearly wasn't in the mood to talk to her or about the situation, as usual.

She couldn't really remember when she'd started to develop these feelings for the blonde. The swimmer had always been attracted to the feisty blonde, from the moment she'd laid eyes on that smirking face she'd felt hooked, especially when the smirk melted into a warm smile reserved for her only. Emily knew the other girls never saw that raw side of Ali that she'd seen Friday night. But Ali had made it clear months ago that she was very into guys, and so Emily cried the night after Ali had bluntly said at a sleepover with the girls that "I really don't think I could ever be with a girl for real". That week Emily started dating Ben. And Ali had seemed distant at first and stayed away from Emily, but when she came back around to being herself, she had turned up the flirting to an extreme level when it was just the two of them, which puzzled Emily even more.

"Em, let's go to class," Emily heard a soft voice say but it wasn't the blonde she expected. It was Hanna, looking at her with soft eyes. Emily knew if any of the girls understood how she was feeling it was Hanna. As dumb as the blonde tried to make herself appear, she was the one who had seen Emily's spirit fall that night when Ali had indirectly hurt her at the sleepover and Hanna had held Emily's hand knowingly. But her kind gesture hadn't escaped a death glare from Ali then, and Hanna was receiving the same death glare now.

"Actually, Em, can you come to the bathroom with me?" Ali interrupted, her voice sharp and her eyes darkening. Aria and Spencer shared a confused look with each other, the tension between the two blondes high as Hanna rolled her eyes.

Emily looked at Hanna and silently told her she'd be okay, and nodded at Ali.

Ali practically stormed off into the bathroom and Emily had to run after her

"Ali what are you doing?" Emily asked as Ali looked under each stall and then locked the bathroom door. She needed to make it up to Em, and this was the first thing that came to mind. The blonde needed to feel Emily, she was feeling deprived of her lovely swimmer.

"You ask too many questions Emily," Ali said hastily with a sly smile and pushed her against the door and slammed her lips down on Emily's. Emily was caught off guard and moaned as Ali slipped her leg in between hers, allowing Ali to slip her tongue into Emily's mouth and explore. But Emily was not in the mood and pushed Ali off of her, the blonde reeling back in shock.

"What the hell Em?"

"You can't just mess around with Noel and then come drag me in here again," Emily started to speak but Ali's face darkened as she came up close to Emily.

"I said I didn't fuck Noel," Ali hissed but when she saw Emily's eyes she stepped backwards. "Oh my god. You don't believe me."

"Ali-"

"Emily I didn't have sex with him!"

"But you wanted to," Emily snapped. "All the girls know how you felt about him even if they don't approve."

"You don't know how I feel Emily," Ali tried again but Emily wasn't having a good day.

"You're right, I don't know the first thing about how you feel," Emily said. "But whose fault is that?"

Emily turned around and stormed out, she knew if she stuck around that Ali would say something to make her weak again. As Emily came out of the bathroom, she felt someone grab her hand from the side and she saw Hanna out of the corner of her eye.

"You okay Em?" she asked. Emily nodded and Hanna just rubbed her hand comfortingly and walked with her to class. Neither could see Alison's troubled stare from behind them. Maybe Cece was right, she was too fucked up for Emily.

X

Alison sat in her last class on Thursday trying to will the clock to hit two already so that she could bolt. Emily sat next to her in this class, but she'd been avoiding Ali all week and the gnawing pain in the pit of Ali's stomach had been growing. As the bell rang, Ali almost jumped out of her seat, but when she turned back to glance at Em she saw the girl staring at her with hurt eyes and she almost stayed, but, afraid, she ran out.

Later that night, she broke into her parent's liquor cabinet and made herself a mixed drink that was more rum than coke and sullenly moped in her room because Spencer and Aria were busy, and the last person Ali wanted to see was Hanna. Emily was on her anniversary date with Ben, and Ali bitterly swallowed at the thought of Ben kissing Emily. On top of everything, she was horny. Horny, drunk, and angry. She called Emily, three times, but of course Emily didn't pick up. So Ali called Noel who said he'd come over after he finished a project at a friend's.

Before he came over, she made herself another drink. Her tiny body was empty, except for the alcohol, and her head was fuzzy already. But when her bedroom door opened, it wasn't the male she was expecting.

"Hey Ali," Ian said with a menacing glare.

"What do you want?" she slurred trying to back up on her bed far away from him. But he grabbed her legs, pulled her towards him and climbed over her before pressing his body down on her. She could feel his hard on through his pants as he groaned and kissed her neck.

"Get off of me," she mumbled only half meaning it. In her drunken stupor, she was unsure whether or not she would actually want the dreamy high school coach. The terrifying thought passed through her mind that he could very well rape her right now if she didn't scream loud enough.

"Be a good girl," he whispered as he kissed her and she didn't kiss him back. He grinned and began to dry hump her, his pelvis rolling against hers and she unexpectedly moaned into his mouth.

"Ali?"

Ali's drunk eyes widened as she saw Emily in her doorway. She shoved Ian off of her and stared, horrified that Emily saw that. The swimmer looked on the verge of tears.

"Emily, Emily wait!" Ali called as Emily turned and ran out of the room. She scrambled off the bed and ran after her ignoring Ian's smug grin.

She ran after Emily all the way to her driveway before Emily turned around, anger black in her eyes.

"Do you just go around messing with everyone?" Emily said in a deadly low voice.

Ali stood frozen. Those words stung coming from her sweet Emily.

"No, Emily please," she whimpered pathetically.

"I'm done with you Ali, I'm so fucking done with you," Emily snapped as she ran off.

"Emily please don't," Ali yelled running and grabbing Emily's arm. "Please don't say that Emily. You don't understand."

There were tears in Ali's eyes, but Emily shook Ali's hand off of her as she scoffed and turned around, her own tears finally falling as she ran off. Ali stood, alone, and terrified that she'd just lost the only person she deeply cared about.

X

"I walked in on her hooking up with someone," Emily cried to Hanna on the phone late that night. She couldn't sleep and had woken up the only person she knew would sympathize.

"Em, I'm so sorry-"

"I love her," Emily blurted out before more tears spilt.

"I know you do, I don't know why but I know you do," Hanna sighed.

"Why does she do this stuff? When it's just us, she's so different," Emily whimpered as she sat down on her bed. "But apparently she's just different with everyone privately." Her words were spat bitterly. "She's probably just messing with me."

"What good would she get out of that?"

"The satisfaction of knowing that people want her."

"Well, playing devil's advocate here but maybe Ali is just scared."

"Of what?" Emily spat bitterly before she jumped at the sound of her window rattling. She turned around in shock to see Ali pulling herself through the window and yelping her name as she realized the swimmer saw her.

"Hanna I gotta go," Emily replied quickly and hung up and got up to help her.

"Em, Em I'm so sorry," Ali said drunkenly as she toppled into the room and right into Emily's arms. Her eyes were bloodshot and her body was shaking from the crisp night air.

"You need to leave, Ali," Emily said trying to be stern but her voice wasn't harsh. She sounded as if she was reminding herself that the blonde needed to be gone.

"I don't want Ian," Ali mumbled. "I just want you."

"He's our school's field hockey coach, Ali, that's Melissa's boyfriend for Christ's sake! Spencer has been crushing on him for ages and she's never done anything, god how messed up are you?"

"HE came on to me," Ali insisted pleading as she wrapped her arms around Emily's neck and placed soft kisses on her bare shoulder. "I'm sorry Emily."

"Sorry you did it, or sorry you got caught?" Emily scoffed pulling Ali away from her, but gently enough.

"I didn't do it," Ali whimpered softly looking like Emily had just slapped the life out of her.

"Ali you need to go," Emily said hoarsely, her voice cracking.

Ali tried to walk forward and say something but Emily frowned and stepped back. Resigning, she hung her head low and walked out of Emily's bedroom, defeated.

Emily suffered internally knowing the blonde shouldn't walk home alone. She huffed and went to grab Ali by the arm before the blonde had descended the stairs.

"Wait, Ali, it's dark," Emily grunted as she dragged the tired blonde back into her room.

"Sleep here," she said sighing and pulling back the covers but making it very clear Alison was to stay on her side of the bed.

Ali's eyes were glassy and she seemed in another world as she nodded and climbed into bed, facing out, and curled up into a tiny ball. "Thank you Emily," she muttered as her eyes slipped shut.

When Emily woke up in the morning, Emily wanted to scream because as much as she knew it was for the best, Ali was gone.


	4. Don't You Worry Child

**Meh. I feel like people are going to hate this chapter. It's Cece going too far, and Alison finally breaking in front of Emily. Oh well, to make up for it I posted the next chapter too- filled with Emison getting the cuteness they deserve, before they get dirty in the chapter after that. Enjoy. **

The next morning, Emily avoided the girls. She sat with Ben at lunch, and she didn't meet them at their lockers. If any of them approached her, she scurried off quickly.

When Aria asked Ali if she knew what was up with Emily, Ali just snapped with a "why the hell would I know?" and Hanna glared at her knowingly.

After school, Emily went to swim practice. She was alone in the locker room when someone grabbed her arm and startled her. She turned around to see Ben, and she gasped in relief.

"Ben, you scared me," she said. He grinned.

"I just wanted to see you," he said as he kissed her but she pushed him off quickly.

"Ben I'm not in the mood," she said but he kept at it.

"Ben seriously, stop," she tried.

"Come on Em, lighten up," he said trying to feel her up as she squirmed uncomfortably, and protested some more. She began to panic until she heard another voice.

"She said stop, asshole."

Emily would recognize that icy voice anywhere. It was hardly ever used on her. Before she realized it, tiny hands had angrily pulled Ben off, and swung at his nose and broke it as he cried out in pain.

"Are you fucking psycho?" he yelled angrily.

"Probably," Alison said smirking. "But if you tell anyone what just happened, I'll tell them all that you were trying to rape Em. Got it?"

"She's my girlfriend!"

"Yeah well she deserves someone way better than you. Someone who wouldn't force her into doing something she doesn't want to do. And I swear if you ever do that again, I will make your life hell."

Ben just nodded furiously and ran off. As soon as he disappeared, Ali's face crumbled to nervousness as she finally looked at Em.

"Em, look, will you please talk to me," she said quietly.

Emily steadied herself and tried to steady her voice.

"Thank you Ali," she said, "but I have to go to practice."

And Em rushed out leaving Ali alone again.

X

Ali went to bed early that night as she wasn't in the mood to deal with anybody. Depressed and alone, she took some Nyquil around 7:30. But around ten, another body slid into bed with her and started touching her lightly. Ali woke up in a daze as a series of kisses were pressed up her jawline. Her eyes fluttered open to see her older blonde nightmare kissing her. She instantly began to struggle and Cece laughed humorlessly.

"I love it when you struggle," Cece sneered as she kissed Ali, and let her hand slip over Ali's panties. "I didn't realize your bedtime was so early."

"Cece stop," she begged. Cece had always touched her but never down there.

Cece refused to listen as she grabbed handcuffs she had brought and snapped them down over Ali's wrists and snapped the other end around Ali's headboard, leaving the blonde totally helpless.

"Cece stop," Ali cried agains.

"You're going to love this," Cece said as she ran her thumbs over Ali's tits and watched in delight as Ali's nipples strained against her tight sleeping shirt. "Seems like you already are. God I love when you don't wear a bra."

"Please, don't," Ali choked out a cry between whimpers.

"Let's play a game," Cece whispered in Ali's ear as her hot breath sent unwanted pleasure straight to Ali's core. "If you're not wet, I'll leave."

"Cece no," Ali protested weakly as Cece pressed her thigh harder against Ali's center and Ali let out a loud moan as Cece dragged her mouth down Ali's neck and bit hard before licking. Cece's hands shoved Ali's shirt up and she fixed her mouth on one of Ali's nipples, her warm lips sucking and her tongue flicking across as she pinched the other one. Ali's back arched up as a moan escaped her parted lips and Cece snaked back up and captured her lower lip between her own and sucked. Cece pulled back as lust was written all over Ali's face and she reached down and shoved Ali's flimsy panties aside to rub Ali's wet pussy, her fingers instantly becoming slick.

"Oops, looks like you're wet," Cece said innocently.

"Please Cece, just leave me alone," Ali cried but she moaned as Cece's fingers brushed her clit and she bucked her hips up to grind against her fingers.

"I'm not leaving til I make you cum," Cece said with a crazy glint in her eyes.

Ali whimpered and tried to shrink away but Cece slipped a finger inside her and Ali's eyes slammed shut as she bit her lip too hard trying to hold back a loud groan.

"Good girl," Cece whispered and slipped another finger in and pumped in and out as Ali writhed beneath her. As Ali came, dread and pleasure simultaneously filled her and she watched as Cece smirked while she cried out something between a sob and a moan. When it was over, she lay there, flustered and panting, and Cece just laughed.

"You're much more fun when you behave," Cece said with a sick smile and caressed Ali's face as the girl tried to turn away form her and let her tears fall.

"Should I leave you here for Jason to find you like this?" Cece teased.

"Cece let me go," Ali demanded with tears.

"Fine," Cece rolled her eyes. She undid the handcuffs and Ali pulled her hands to her body, rubbing her wrists. "I heard Emily found out what a slut you are."

Alison saw red. She flew at Cece and grabbed her neck angrily as she tried to squeeze but Cece shook her off and threw her backwards on the bed before slapping her sharply across the face drawing blood as her nails tore at Ali's cheek. She grabbed Ali's shirt and pulled Ali close as she ripped it.

"Don't forget who just made you cum, bitch," Cece snarled, and then she walked out without another word.

X

"All I'm saying Em is that Ali seemed really upset just now," Aria said over the phone.

"Aria-"

"No really Em, you know how much she loves when I invite her over to watch my Friends DVDs, I even offered her froyo and all she said was no thanks and that she was going to sleep," Aria continued.

"So?"

"Em it was six thirty. Who says they're going to bed at six thirty?"

"I don't know, apparently Ali-"

"Em did something happen? Hanna keeps saying she's worried about you but she won't say why."

"Nothing happened."

"Maybe you should go check on Ali, see what's up?"

Emily sighed knowing she'd been avoiding the blonde all week. So she hung up with Aria and made her way over to the DiLaurentis house. As she entered through the the back door, she saw a blonde head exiting the front door.

"Ali?" she said softly. But the blonde turned around and it was Cece Drake, Jason's fuck buddy or whatever she was.

"Oh hey Emily," Cece said with a fake smile that Emily could see right through. "Ali's upstairs."

"Is she sleeping? I don't want to wake her up, She doesn't know I'm here."

"Oh she's definitely not sleeping," Cece said with a sly smile. Emily looked confused. "You should go say hi, I'm sure she's dying to see you."

Emily nodded and thanked Cece before running upstairs. Ali's door was open a crack, and she pushed it open slowly and walked in, the floorboards creaking. She heard a foreign noise…was Alison crying? She was lying in bed, with her back towards Emily.

"Cece just leave me alone already!" Ali said in a small voice as she continued to cry.

Emily stared in shock, Ali looked so small and weak curled up and sobbing.

"Didn't you already get what you came for? Get out!" Ali yelled.

"Ali, it's me," Emily whispered and Alison's body froze, her eyes suddenly wide in panic.

"Em, you need to leave right now," Ali said but her voice wasn't mean, it was scared.

"Ali what's going on? I saw Cece leaving, she said you'd be happy to see me," Emily said confused. Ali let out a bitter laugh to herself. Emily walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do.

"Just get out of here Em," Ali said again.

"I came over to talk," Emily tried.

"Yeah well I don't want to talk right now," Ali said bluntly.

"Well I do," Emily said grabbing Ali's arm and pulling her so she flipped over and she gasped as she saw Ali's torn shirt and Ali's face. There was a thin line on her cheek with blood trickling out, and Ali's eyes were puffy and empty, her hair a mess. Ali's lips were swollen and her neck had bruises all over it.

"What happened to you?" Emily asked staring in shock.

"Now you care?" Ali asked, accusing as she scrambled off the bed trying to put space between her and Emily. She didn't want the swimmer to examine her face that closely. But as she stood up she saw Emily's eyes fly to her center and she saw that her underwear was all messed up, pushed aside slightly revealing her bare pussy and she just scoffed as she turned around.

"Why did you lie to Aria?" Emily asked trying to shove down her lust as Ali slipped on a pair of shorts.

"What are you talking about?" Ali snapped, not wanting to face the whole ordeal.

"She said you told her you were going to sleep, at six thirty," Emily said with narrowed eyes.

"Why does everyone think I'm fucking lying," Ali growled. "I was telling the truth. I went to bed because I was upset. I saved you from your primate of a boyfriend and you still ran away from me. Admit it Emily, you agree with everyone else. You think I'm a cold hearted bitch who's a slut and you came here to yell at me."

"Ali I-"

"Well I don't want to hear it okay!" Ali yelled as tears she didn't know she had started to slowly escape and she saw Emily's warm brown eyes soften. "If I didn't care about you, I would never have looked for you after school, and I wouldn't have interfered with you and Ben."

"I don't understand-"

"What don't you understand?!" Alison said, twitching with embarrassment at how Emily was looking at her with such pity. "You're the only good thing in my life Em. And when you told me you were done with me yesterday…"

Ali couldn't even finish.

"Ali…I think we both know that you know how…I…feel about you, even Hanna knows how I'm…confused, as she says. And then I walked in on you getting it on with Ian after you said you didn't sleep with Noel and then you tried to jump me in the school bathroom and-"

"I know how it seems Em," Ali whispered in a broken voice. "But it's not what it looks like. Please believe me."

Those last three words really pierced Emily's heart and she softened her stare.

"Okay, then what is it?"

But instead of speaking, Ali just walked forward and buried her face in Emily's shoulder as she cried, her tiny body shaking with quiet sobs. "Please don't leave," Ali managed to get out.

"I'm not leaving," Emily whispered, still shocked. "I promise I'm not leaving."

X

Emily woke up slightly confused until she realized she was in Alison's bed. She couldn't find the blonde for a few seconds before she saw Alison sitting in the perch by her window staring outside.

"Ali what time is it?" Emily asked groggily, light barely filtering in from outside.

"Too early for you to be awake," Ali said in a hushed voice as she stood up and padded over to Emily. "Good morning beautiful."

Emily's sleepy eyes fluttered as a goofy smile formed on her face. Ali smiled softly. The swimmer was so innocent, so good. She leaned down and kissed her softly, enjoying how Emily's lips felt on hers. They weren't harsh or fighting her, they were just still and smiling.

Ali pulled back, and Emily pouted at the loss of contact which made Ali giggle.

"My sweet Emily," she whispered as she crawled into bed and lay her head on Emily's chest. She hadn't slept all night, but as her eyes drooped shut she finally felt safe with her head resting on Emily's chest.

When Emily woke up later, she felt a heavy weight on her and she realized Ali was draped across her, her hand gripping Emily's shirt in a bunch.

Emily wasn't sure what compelled her (it was everything in that moment) but she tilted her head down and very gently kissed the top of Ali's head. Ali seemed to register it because she sighed contentedly and nuzzled her head into the crook of Emily's neck.

"Are you awake?" Emily whispered softly.

"Shhh, sleepy," Alison mumbled as she pressed a soft innocent kiss to Emily's neck which made Emily tense up for a moment before she willed herself to relax.

Emily laid in bed for a while enjoying Ali's presence until the blonde began to stir.

"What time is it Em?" she mumbled as she stretched her legs out before curling them back around the swimmer.

"Probably noon," Emily said chuckling as Ali's forehead wrinkled.

"Can we go get lunch?" Ali asked with sleepy eyes as she lifted her head up and leaned over Em, their noses brushing. Emily looked in a daze as she stared at Ali who smiled warmly at her and gave her a kiss before pushing herself up off the bed and stretching. Emily just stared as she watched Ali's shirt rise, her bare skin exposed.

"Sure," the swimmer replied, her mouth dry. She was still trying to wrap her head around what was going on. Last night was troubling, to put it tamely. Now this felt very dream like to her, never before had she woken up to this sweet genuine Alison. She honestly wasn't sure that this side of Ali could exist for more than a short period of time, yet Ali was throwing all sorts of surprises her way lately.

While Ali rummaged through her drawers for clothes, Emily got up and took her shirt off. "Can I borrow a shirt? I wore this yesterday," Em said frowning as she thought to how she wished she brought deodorant with her.

"Yeah Em, you can borrow anything you want," Ali said turning around and her mouth opened slightly as her voice trailed off at the end. Emily was absolutely beautiful, and she had no idea. Her tan lean body was lacking any fat and was toned in all the right places.

Emily nodded quickly as she saw Ali staring at her for a moment before hastily going back to looking through her drawers. As soon as she found one of her favorite hoodies that Ali always let her borrow, she slipped it on and sat back down on Ali's bed.

Ali emerged from her closet in a sweater and jeans as she smiled at Emily.

"Ready?" Alison asked rhetorically as she turned towards the door.

"Wait, Ali," Emily said gently not moving. "What happened last night? Are we going to talk about it?"

Ali frowned. She knew sooner or later she would have to give Emily some sort of explanation, but she was nowhere near ready to explain the truth to Emily. It was frightening her to be this genuine at all to Emily, but she came to the conclusion when she was up all last night that she had to swallow her pride and face her fears of her feelings or she'd lose the swimmer for good. She'd never seen Emily so angry and betrayed as she had been that day she saw Ian forcing himself on her. If only the swimmer knew the truth.

"It's complicated, Emily," Ali said gently.

"We are complicated," Emily corrected her but she seemed to be trying to remind herself. Ali could see a mental protective wall going up, and the last thing she wanted was for Emily to doubt her.

"Yes, we are complicated," Ali said as she walked towards Emily and lightly brushed the tan girl's hair behind her ear. "But I don't want to lose you. Give me some time okay?"

"Time to what, Ali?"

"Time to open up, to be comfortable, to not be afraid anymore."

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Emily asked in a small voice.

"No, no you could never," Ali reassured quickly as she grabbed Emily's hands. "I meant to be comfortable with myself and my feelings and my problems."

"Feelings?"

"It's complicated, Em. Just give me time okay? I promise, I'll try harder."

Ali stared at her with twinkling blue eyes and a smile radiating what the swimmer could only guess was hope. Emily nodded and squeezed Ali's hands comfortingly before pulling the blonde down for a hug.

"Thank you," Ali whispered with a smile and felt Emily smiling into her neck. The relief was temporary, but Emily was enough to keep the terrifying real life nightmares at bay. Cece Drake might have tried to break her, but at least she hadn't really lost the one good thing in her life.


	5. Tell Her You Love Her

**Emison being all cute and shit. **

"Tonight?"

Alison looked at Emily as she listened to Spencer ramble on the phone about a sleepover for the five at her house. Emily shrugged as Alison raised an eyebrow as if to ask Emily if she was okay with a sleepover.

"Sure," Ali said nonchalantly to Spencer on the phone. "We'll be there. Me and Emily. Yeah we're at The Brew eating lunch right now. No Spencer, I'm not studying, unlike you I don't feel the need to study a week in advance for some dumb test. I'll see you tonight."

Ali hung up with an exaggerated sigh and shoved her phone in her pocket.

"I swear that girl is more strung out than a coke addict," Alison grumbled as she sipped on a latte. "She's more hooked on caffeine than Hanna was on cookies."

Emily nodded, her head somewhere else. It had started raining outside, and the dreary weather had Emily feeling unsettled. Too many complex thoughts ran through the swimmer's mind. Was the beautiful blonde just playing her once more, afraid of losing her number one admirer? Emily wanted to believe that even Alison wasn't capable of such deception. Besides, she had seemed beside herself last night. The swimmer couldn't get that haunted image of Alison's usually hard, unforgiving face crumbling to what seemed like a broken, _scared_ little girl. Alison DiLaurentis wasn't afraid of anything, Emily thought. And it wasn't until the past few days that Ali had started to seemingly break, becoming weak in front of Emily and Emily only.

She watched as Ali sipped her latte, the queen bee's hands pressed tightly to the cup as she looked off towards the window. They sat in the corner of The Brew on a couch huddled together, away from the majority of the others in the café.

"I guess a sleepover could be fun," Ali said in no one to particular as she watched the rain. Emily could see the blonde's brows furrow in thought.

"Think Hanna's going to show up with a flask?"

"If she does, don't let Spencer drink any," Ali said in a low voice.

"Why not?"

Ali looked unsure as she glanced to make sure no one was listening. She looked back at Emily.

"This is a secret, Em," Ali told her quietly. "But Spencer has a drug problem. And if she mixes these drugs with alcohol things could get really messy fast."

"What? What drug problem? How do you know?" Emily asked with wide eyes.

"She takes performance enhancing pills, I know because I found her all strung out one night between our houses, and she kind of confessed. She made me promise not to tell anyone, and I haven't, not until now."

"Are you sure it was drugs?"

"Trust me Em, coffee may light her up but it couldn't get her that buzzed."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because maybe you can help me take care of her," Ali said softly. "She might drive me crazy and give me urges to kick her ass daily, but I don't want to see her broken either." Emily nodded slowly understanding their frenemy type of friendship.

"Besides," Alison continued in a hushed voice. "If anyone's good at taking care of others and showing sympathy and compassion, it's you, Em."

"I don't think I do anything that special," Emily replied softly.

"Two years ago, we were at Spencer's and I didn't bring a jacket because I had just quickly walked over. Well I started shivering, and you took off your sweater and just put it on me. You didn't ask, and I didn't say a word. Nobody noticed it, everyone was busy watching the movie. But I noticed it, and I never forgot it," Ali explained quietly. "You always just know what I need, and I never have to say a word."

Emily smiled shyly, not used to the strong genuine affection from Alison.

"You're shivering now," Emily noted as she glanced at Ali's shaking hands. Ali let out a light airy laugh and shook her head.

"I'm not, I'm just nervous," Ali admitted as she tried to will her hands to stop trembling.

"Why?" Emily's brows furrowed as she tried to figure out what was making the blonde so nervous. Ali noticed and laughed a little harder at the fact that Emily had no idea the effect she had on her.

"You make me nervous, Emily Fields," she stated and before Emily could even ask if she meant it in a bad way, she added, "in the best way possible."

"I don't know why," Emily laughed feebly.

"That's what I love about you," Ali said shifting her body towards Emily while staring at her with warm eyes. "You really don't know just how incredible you are."

Emily's breath caught in her throat. Ali was looking at her the way she'd always dreamed of. Blue eyes glistened with affection and shifted from Emily's wide eyes to her lips. Emily caught the hint but was unsure whether or not to lean in, she'd never come out to anyone but Hanna and Ali sure as hell made it obvious she wasn't ready to be out. And still, in the back of her mind was the lingering worry that something was off with Ali lately- and Emily didn't want things to go back to normal suddenly, leaving her helplessly fallen for the blonde and the queen bee high and mighty once more. Ali, however, was in her own world and bit her lip shyly and let out a soft laugh as she pulled back slightly and put her hand on Emily's knee apologetically.

"You're right, not here," Ali said.

"You always do that," Emily said, forcing herself to push away the bad thoughts as she let herself cover Ali's hand and settled against the couch. "You always know what I'm thinking."

Ali smiled but before she could reply, the doors opened and she saw Ian and Melissa walk in. Her whole body froze, she hadn't seen Ian since that night and she sure as hell didn't want to see him now. What she really wanted to do was go over there and hurt him, really hurt him, but she felt Emily's thumb brush over her skin softly and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"We can go," Emily said in a low voice noticing the way Ali looked like all the blood in her veins had frozen. She thought back to that night, did Ian really come onto Ali like she had drunkenly said?

Ali just nodded, shaken. She sighed as they stood up and made a subtle and quiet exit out of The Brew, at least for a few hours she had managed to push away the bad thoughts and haunting feelings.

X

"Hey Em," Aria greeted as she opened the door to Spencer's. The other four were already there and Emily walked in, eager to escape the storm outside.

"Sorry, my dad called so I was running a bit late," Emily explained.

"That's totally cool. Hanna just finished ordering pizza and we were about to start watching the movie," Spencer said smiling. Emily searched the room for Ali and saw her sitting on the couch. Ali smiled softly and subtly gestured to the spot next to her on the couch, and Emily went and sat next to her, but she kept her distance unsure of Ali's intentions.

"How's your dad Em?" Hanna asked from her comfy armchair.

"Yeah, is he okay?" Ali chimed in.

"He's good, he was calling to let us know that he'll be home in a week for a weekend," Emily said smiling.

"That's great!" Aria said excitedly.

"My mom's really happy," Emily added as she settled down comfortably. Spencer went to play the movie and turned the lights off.

Emily didn't like the weird space between her and Ali, but Ali seemed comfortable with the distance so she let it be. About fifteen minutes into the movie, Alison grabbed a blanket up off the floor and spread it across her and Emily, and subtly angled herself so that her head was resting on the couch arm and her legs were across Emily with her thighs resting atop of the swimmer's. Emily tested the waters and put her hand on Ali's thighs to rest there and watched as Ali's eyes fluttered and her mouth just barely parted to inhale at the touch. Satisfied, the two relaxed in that position until the pizza came and they sat up to eat. Out of the corner of her eye, Hanna noted the exchange.

The night progressed without anything too exciting. Aria updated the girls on her fling with Ezra Fitz, and Hanna ranted about Caleb's obsession with a new video game. Meanwhile, Spencer expressed her distress over missing Toby and how her parents were stressing over college applications.

Ali remained quiet, observing instead of participating. Every so often Emily would catch Ali gazing off out the window as if deep in thought. She wondered for the hundredth time if she was making the blonde uncomfortable.

When the girls went to settle in to sleep, Spencer and Aria decided to share Spencer's bed. Spencer offered the guest bed to Emily, who hesitatingly took it while Hanna claimed the comfy chair since she had already nodded off and Ali remained on the couch.

Emily saw that Ali made no protest or effort for them to sleep together, which disappointed the swimmer a bit but she wasn't about to make a scene. Instead, she stripped down into sleeping shorts and an oversized teeshirt and buried herself under the covers. Right as she was about to fall asleep, she heard the tiniest footsteps outside her door and her heartbeat naturally increased.

"Em, are you awake? I can't sleep," came a hushed whisper and Emily fought the impish smile that formed at the sound of Ali's voice.

"I was almost asleep," Emily teased as she sat up.

"Hanna is snoring just a little too loudly for me," Ali joked as she climbed onto the bed next to Emily who had scooted over to make room for her.

"Oh god, I hope I don't snore."

"Well even if you did, it'd probably be a lot cuter than when Hanna does," Ali said with a smirk. Emily had no comeback as she snuggled deeper under the blankets, shivering. Ali followed suit and laid on her back. "Em, I'm cold."

"Do you need another blanket?" Emily asked concerned as she made a move to get up.

Ali playfully rolled her eyes and stopped her, grabbing her arm lightly and pulling the confused swimmer towards her as she rolled onto her side so that her back was facing Emily. The blonde sighed contentedly at the feeling of Emily spooning her and the way their bodies fit together.

"No you dork, just keep me warm," Ali teased. "I just wanted an excuse for you touch me."

Emily's heartbeat increased even though she knew Ali meant that innocently. With courage that she didn't know she had, she said in a low voice, near Ali's ear, "You don't need an excuse to have me touch you."

Ali slightly shuddered in response to Emily's seduction that came out of nowhere. She also almost chuckled to herself thinking that maybe she was rubbing off on the brunette. Instead, she gripped Emily's hand on her waist tighter and slipped it just barely under her shirt so that she could feel Emily's touch on her soft tummy.

"Good, cause I love it when you touch me like that," Ali whispered as she felt Emily's fingers start to lazily trace patterns over her stomach.

"Like this?" Emily asked as she moved her hand and it barely slipped inside the waistband of Ali's sweats before Ali let out the faintest moan at the wonderful feeling of Emily's gentle fingers on her skin. Her touch didn't burn like so many others' who had pawed, clawed, and greedily grabbed at her. Ali didn't think anyone could be sweeter or gentler than her sweet Emily.

"Mhm," she hummed happily as she lay still like that with the brunette for a few minutes quietly. When Emily's tracing started to fade, Ali shifted and rolled onto her back so that Emily still laid on her side facing her.

"Emily Fields," Ali said in a sleepy husky voice, "I really want to kiss you right now."

Through the bright moonlight coming in through the window, Emily could see Ali's eyes had turned to a deep, dark blue and were focused on her face, flickering between her eyes and lips.

Emily was nervous, her heart was pounding in her chest. But as Ali reached up to gently place her hand on the back of Emily's neck and leaned in, Emily surprised both of them by closing the distance quickly and kissing Ali's soft lips. As her heart shaped lips moved deliberately against Emily's, all Emily could think was that she tasted sweeter in that moment than anything Emily could imagine. Ali seemed to kiss her so lazily, yet firmly, and as Emily shifted so that she was partly on top of Ali she slid her tongue over Ali's lips asking permission to enter. Ali gasped and parted her lips as Emily dropped her leg in between Ali's, and Emily kissed her deeply as her tongue maneuvered in a way that had Ali's hand grabbing Emily's hair in a fistful with her other hand digging into Emily's lower back before.

Emily never broke the kiss as she shyly let her hand barely slide up Ali's side under her shirt but it was enough to make the blonde twitch in excitement and unintentionally rock her hips up against Emily so that her center rolled against Emily's thigh. Ali's loud moan was swallowed by Emily before she pulled back while gently biting on Ali's lower lip. She glanced breathlessly to see the equally flustered blonde staring at her through hooded eyes as she caught her breath.

"Woah," Ali whispered with a lopsided grin as she ran her hand through Emily's long hair gently.

"Yeah," Emily agreed with a super shy half smile.

"Where'd you learn to kiss like that?" Alison asked, high off of the warm feelings only Emily could give her. "Wait, don't answer that I don't wanna know."

But the swimmer merely shrugged. "I've never kissed anyone like _that_," she mumbled quietly.

"Shy in the streets, sexy in the sheets," Ali wiggled her eyebrows playfully as Emily blushed a deep shade of red. "You're a natural, Em."

"Maybe we're just natural," Emily said, proud of her newfound confidence around the blonde. Truly, ever since she'd exploded at Alison and watched Alison plead for her, she'd become more comfortable being raw and real in front of Ali.

"Mmm," Ali hummed contentedly and pulled Emily down to her for a chaste kiss before burying her face in the crook of the swimmer's neck, enjoying the weight of her favorite girl on top of her. She inhaled deeply- Emily smelled like home- and sighed. "This is terrifying," Ali admitted while holding Em in a death hug on top of her.

"What is?"

"Dealing with my feelings," Ali explained. "But if there's anyone who I'd do it for, it's you."

She felt Emily smile into her neck which caused a huge grin to spread across Ali's face.

"Plus," she whispered into Emily's ear, "I love thrills." She pulled the brunette's earlobe into her mouth and nipped lightly, pleased as she heard Emily whimper.

"Ali," Emily groaned as she rolled off. "If you do that I…I don't think I'd be able to stop myself…"

"So don't stop," Ali said in such a husky voice Emily thought she could easily get off just from listening to Ali talk. The blonde turned towards her, trying to kiss Emily's bare shoulder.

Emily just laughed softly, letting her hand around Ali play with the long blonde hair, subtly hinting that she wanted to stop. Unused to that kind of rejection, even if purely innocent, Ali shrugged herself off of Em and turned over, assuming the brunette wanted Ali to leave her alone.

"What, no cuddling?" Emily asked playfully, sleep eminent in her voice.

"Whatever you want," Ali said, turning around and cuddling on her side into the swimmer who lay flat on her back. She draped one of her legs over the swimmer's, and nuzzled against her. She felt a light kiss placed on the top of her head. Before she drifted into a deep sleep, the blonde smiled thinking _maybe this could actually turn out alright_.


	6. Heartbeat pt 1

**I officially hate the writers for making me dislike Alison on the show. Pretty sure there's no hope for Emison, but I'm still gonna hope anyway. This is a two-parter, for all you lovely people who review. Shit gets real. **

Ali woke up to a completely empty bed. Her eyes had fluttered open as her body was brought out of an anxiety filled nightmare. Her body was covered in a thin sheet of sweat, and she felt disoriented. As she adjusted to the early morning, she heard hushed voices outside the door. Carefully she strained her ears as best she could.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm still trying to figure everything out."

"Be careful, okay? Sometimes, we let our emotions blind what's right, and what's wrong."

"For a blonde, you're pretty insightful."

"Shut up, you know you love me. Don't act like you don't want all of this."

"Oh yeah, uh huh. You wish you could have me."

"All day every day."

There was a pause between the two as they laughed. Ali easily identified Emily's voice, and knew it was Hanna she was talking to. The suggestive tone in Hanna's voice, even if teasing, made Ali's stomach twist in unpleasant ways.

"When are you going to tell the others?"

"I…I'm not sure."

"Hey, no pressure. You know I'm here no matter what, and you don't need to tell them anything if you don't want to. But you know that Spencer and Aria will have your back no matter what. They wouldn't give a fuck if you came out. We all care about you so much, Em. Even Ali."

Ali rolled her eyes but internally was relieved that the other blonde didn't think she was total shit.

"You're the best," Emily said warmly. "I'm gonna go see if Ali's awake."

"I'll go check on Sparia," Hanna agreed and Alison rolled her eyes even more at the nickname.

She frowned, annoyed that Hanna would think that she's going to hurt Emily (and in the back of her mind, it hurts her because she's sure she will). But as she heard Emily walk back, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. When Emily opened the door, she opened her eyes as if just barely waking up.

"Hey," Emily greeted.

"Mornin'," Ali replied, still truly half asleep.

"Are you okay? You kept shifting around in your sleep last night," Emily commented, concerned.

"I hear that's a thing," Ali said dryly, remembering her dream, "people moving in their sleep."

"You don't," Emily replied quietly. "Or at least you don't usually."

Ali shrugged, not in the mood and dismissed Emily. "Weird."

Emily's forehead creased slightly as a slight puzzled expression crept onto her face at Alison's demeanor and edgy tone, but she quickly put on a poker face. She was unwilling to let the blonde affect her negatively. Yet, she knew the blonde better than any of their other friends, and she knew that Ali was acting distant and she hadn't been awake for more than 45 seconds.

"Do you want breakfast? Hanna's attempting to make eggs."

"I might just skip out and go home," Alison said sitting up and stretching.

"Already?"

"Yeah, my mom has her typical Sunday brunch and she'll take me shopping after. And I'm not in the mood to eat burnt eggs by Chef Hanna." It wasn't a total lie, her mom did want to take her shopping, and Alison could really use the retail therapy. She also didn't want to be around the girls this morning. Sometimes, it was hard being around them knowing they didn't think too highly of her. Sure they loved her deep down, but she was afraid their love was mostly out of fear. But in a way, Ali mostly hated it because it reminded her of what a fuckup she was, and how it was her own damn fault that everyone perceived her that way.

"You hate brunch with your mom," Emily said with narrowed eyes, disregarding her dig at Hanna.

"Change of heart," Ali said shrugging.

"Is this about last night?" Emily asked trying to stay unaffected, but there was a hint of obvious worry in her voice.

"What about last night?" Ali asked a little sharper than she should have, not wanting to deal with the train wreck of thoughts in her head. Hanna sounded so sure that she would end up hurting Emily somehow. And then there was that jealousy that didn't sit well inside her. On top of all of that, she felt nauseous from her anxious dream where she was stuck in her bed terrified that Cece would walk in at any moment.

"I don't know. Was that just an act? Cause you sure are eager to just waltz right out of here."

"Contrary to popular belief, Emily, I actually am capable of having feelings other than bitchy, and I can be real and honest with you," Ali snapped, hurt that Emily would think that she wasn't being genuine last night, even if she was in a bad mood now. She shoved her stuff in her bag. "I have a lot going on okay? It's complicated. But don't make _this_ more complicated than it already is."

"You said her name in your sleep," Emily blurted out before her eyes grew wide. She hadn't meant to bring that up now and watched as Alison paled suddenly.

"Whose name?"

"Cece's."

"I don't know why," Ali lied but Emily's raised eyebrow told her she didn't believe that pathetic fib. Even she herself wouldn't have believed it. "How did I say it?"

"You just mumbled it along with incoherent words," Emily frowned.

"Beats me," Ali said as she stood up with her bag. "I gotta go."

Emily looked so…angry? No, disappointed was a better word, Ali thought. She sighed.

"Bye Em," she said walking by her and squeezed her hand attempting to make up the slightest bit for her attitude. "I'll text you later."

"Whatever," Emily murmured under her breath and she saw Ali wince ever so slightly but she kept walking and didn't look back.

X

Emily didn't really stay up late on school nights, and since tomorrow was Monday she was getting ready for bed by ten thirty. She enjoyed getting her sleep, and lately she needed some rest. But, at ten thirty one, her phone vibrated loudly on her bedside table. Incoming call from Alison. Emily's heart clenched, unsure of whether or not to answer (but who was she kidding, she'd always answer).

"Hello?"

"Hi," came the soft voice from the other side. There was a long pause between the two of them, at least thirty seconds before Ali spoke again. "Can I come over?"

"I'm already in bed Ali."

"I meant, can I stay over?"

"On a school night?"

"I just don't want to be at home right now." Alison wasn't begging, but Emily knew by her tone that she was on the verge of it if she refused.

"Climb up my window so my mom won't see you," she said sighing.

"Here I come." The line clicked dead and Emily peered out to see the tiny blonde already scaling the trellis. If she wasn't still upset about earlier, she would have laughed to herself, amused.

She opened her window and extended her hand for the blonde to grab onto and pull herself in. She hopped in quietly, already in her pj's- if an extremely cut open, thin tank and booty shorts counted as pajamas.

"Did brunch not end well?" Emily asked dryly, subconsciously licking her lips at the sight of Ali.

"Something like that," Ali said, her tone clear she didn't want to discuss it.

"What's going on at home?"

"I wanted to see you," Ali said avoiding the question.

"You didn't really want to this morning," Emily stated bluntly.

"I think the correct response would have been, I wanted to see you too, Ali," the blonde joked sarcastically.

"Not funny," Emily scowling as she ignored the blonde and went to her dresser.

"Still not the right answer," Ali teased snidely. "Try again."

Without thinking, Emily rolled her eyes turned her back to the queen bee and pulled her sweater off and then her bra, and pulled on a thin blue t-shirt.

"If you came over here to antagonize me, you can climb back out the window," she said frowning as she pulled off her jeans and slipped into a really short pair of shorts. She turned around, still frowning, expecting the blonde to make some snappy remark. But she did _not _expect Alison to be looking at her like that- her eyes suddenly dark with lust and raking over her body as if she wanted to jump the swimmer right then and there, school nights and parents be damned. A devilish smirk made its way onto her face.

"God Em, you are by far the best looking," she said, her voice distant and different. Yes, it was seductive, but it wasn't in a pleasant way. Emily felt a warning shiver run down her spine. She didn't like this Alison, it was the same Alison that used her feelings as a punch line, the same Alison that terrorized 'loser Mona' and 'pigskin'. Her lips curled into a smirk. "I bet Hefty Hanna wishes she could look half this good."

"Stop talking about her like that," Emily growled, extremely protective of the other blonde in her life. "She's our friend."

"She wishes she could be me," Alison said with a sneer that really set off Emily. She goaded her on, provoking her until she got the response she wanted. "She wishes she was me so that you'd be in love with her because she's so desperate for attention-"

But Alison couldn't finish before Emily's stormed towards her, grabbed her by her tank, and roughly shoved the blonde against a wall. Alison grunted as her back collided- that was gonna hurt in the morning. "I _said_ stop _fucking_ talk about her like that."

Ali smirked, and Emily swore the devil would be proud of her if he saw that look of sin.

"Make me," she challenged and the look of disbelief that crossed Emily's face would have been priceless in any other situation but this. She knew Emily inside and out- she knew exactly how to push her buttons. She _knew_ that even though it was her that Emily fooled around with, Hanna was the one that Emily relied on emotional support from. Hanna was the friend that Emily sought out for unwavering love. She had mused earlier that Emily must have had a soft spot for blondes.

And Alison knew that she wanted to set Emily off in that moment- in a sick way she wanted Emily to fight her. She'd seen glimpses of Emily angry at different points in their friendship. With Emily being irritated (and Ali feeling a need for control), and then changing in front of her, lust filled Alison's entire being and she wanted to see just how far she could push Emily.

"What's wrong with you?" Emily asked looking at her like she was broken and Ali internally rolled her eyes- she hated that look.

Ali didn't respond but looked Emily dead in the eye as she leaned in, prying Emily's hands off of her by grabbing her wrists. Emily didn't like this girl in front of her, but she couldn't stop the rush of heat as her eyes glanced at the newly exposed cleavage she'd caused by pulling Alison's tank.

"_I know you wanna kiss me_," Alison said in her signature mocking and teasing voice provoking Emily.

Alison's brain was all hazy, and the only thing she knew was that she was getting increasingly wet the more aggressive Emily became.

Sure enough, Emily released a low growl and slipped her hand into Alison's hair and yanked her head back ever so slightly as she leaned down, hovering right over the blonde's lips- and god, Alison thinks she could cum right there from the way Emily is pressed against her and teasing her with dark eyes.

Emily pulls Ali forward into a searing kiss as she presses herself against Ali, one leg slipping between hers. The kiss is angry, and demanding, and Alison writhes under Emily as the brunette bites and shoves her tongue in her mouth. Her free hand snakes up Alison's waist, over her chest, and holds Alison's neck in a tight grip. Alison's never seen Emily this ferocious before, but she doesn't want the brunette to stop. Emily's hand in her hair is suddenly on her chest, flicking her nipple through her practically transparent tank top.

"Off," Emily growled as she tugged at the shirt and stepped back as Ali threw it to the other side of the room. Ali watched as Emily's eyes turned jet black at the sight of her topless in nothing but booty shorts. She didn't know this side of Emily existed, but she was going along with it. "Off," Emily demanded again looking at Ali's shorts. When Alison was slow to comply, Emily just stepped into her and pulled them down. Alison shivered as cold air hit her sex through her black lace panties, and she trembled as Emily snaked up her body, lips trailing over skin. She stopped at her chest and her lips closed around her nipple, sucking and using her tongue to swirl around and flick it while pinching the other with her fingers while rolling it. Ali moaned, swearing relentlessly at the pleasure overload. Emily straightened up and kissed Alison again harshly.

Her hands gripped Emily's ass, pulling the swimmer as close as she could while grinding her sex on Emily's thigh. The swimmer gasped at how wet Alison was, she could feel the slick wetness through her lacy panties. Ali was soaked.

"I need you," Ali panted as she rocked her hips against Emily, whimpering as Emily sucked on her neck. "I need you _now_," she said before a long, low moan escaped her.

But somehow, those words snapped Emily back to reality. She gradually slowed her kissing, and pulled back with stormy, conflicted eyes. "I can't Ali," she said, her voice strangled.

Emily swore she saw Alison's confidence vanish in a matter of seconds. That haunting, broken look appeared and the swimmer had never seen her more vulnerable than in that moment. Her face was flushed and lips were swollen as she panted out of breath, topless. "Why not?" she asked in a steady voice. Emily opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. Alison brought her arms up and crossed them over her chest just barely covering up.

"Don't you want me?" Alison asked in a small voice.

Emily looked around for Alison's discarded tank and picked it up, walking over to Alison. She pulled the blonde's arms away from her chest and tilted Alison's chin up. Her eyes raked over her one last time before she gave her the tank top. "Of course I want you," Emily replied honestly as she gently held Alison's chin. Since when had their relationship become so bipolar- and when the hell did she become some crazy angry sex goddess? When did she become the strong, confident one?

"Then why?"

"Because," Emily said as she took the tank from the still blonde and slid it over her head and waited for her to be comfortable in it. "Because I love you, Alison."

Alison stared at her, as if in shock for several seconds before she looked away.

"So why don't you want to…you know," Alison asked confused.

"I do, I thought that was obvious," Emily said with the faintest smile.

"But you stopped. I don't get it, if you love me, and you want to, then why'd you stop?"

Emily stared at the blonde who seemed truly confused.

"I don't want our first time to be tainted like that," Emily said softly. "I don't want the reason I finally sleep with you to be on a whim because you called Hanna fat. I couldn't handle that with you. And I…I need to know you feel the same way, because I don't think I could deal with that…especially cause…"

Alison's eyes widened. Emily was a _virgin_. It's not like Alison didn't know that, but it had been the last thing on her lust-filled, depressed, angry mind lately.

"_Oh,_" was the only thing Alison could think to say. Emily just watched as Ali thought for a bit, and then sat down on the edge of Emily's bed. A million condescending thoughts ran through her mind. What if Emily was afraid of being with her because she thought Ali was _easy_ and gave it up to everyone? She probably thought Alison was using her as an experiment or something.

"You're not mad are you?" Emily asked walking over and sitting next to her.

The blonde's head whipped towards her. "Mad? Why would I be mad?" she asked looking at Emily for a moment, truly perplexed.

Emily shrugged. The blonde shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, frustration evident on her face. "God," she huffed angry at herself.

"What?"

"You probably think I'm such a whore," she spat bitterly.

"I don't think that," Emily reassured quickly. Ali laughed dryly as she thought back to the conversation where Emily accused her of messing around with everyone. And, well, it wasn't far from the truth. There was Noel, Sean, a slew of random college boys, Jason's friends, people she didn't even remember from earlier in high school…even Toby before he had a thing for Spencer. She didn't sleep with any of them, but she's sure that people assumed she did- even the girls aside from Emily all thought she lost it to a college boy. When she'd seen how crest-fallen Emily had looked when she heard, she took the brunette aside and made Emily promise to keep it a secret that she lied and was still a virgin. The way Emily's eyes lit up when she realized that Alison hadn't actually slept with someone caused Ali's heart to melt. But that was two years ago.

Still, Emily, the soft-spoken, kind-hearted swimmer was the only person she thought she could even associate the words "making love" with. And Ali wasn't a sap by any means but she knew she wanted her first time to mean _something_, to be with someone whom she actually had feelings for, especially since everything else she'd done had meant absolutely nothing. She can't remember the last person before Emily that made her nervous in a good way.

"Well I am," Ali quipped shaking her head again.

"No," Emily said gently. "You are not a whore. I wanted that as bad as you did. I mean, god Ali, I know everyone thinks I'm the most innocent person but if they all knew what I wanted you to do to me…"

Alison let out a weak laugh.

"And if everyone knew that sweet Emily Fields let Alison DiLaurentis have her way with her, I'm sure people would come after me with pitchforks."

"It doesn't matter what other people think Ali."

"Wanna know what I think? I'm thinking oh my god- I can't take her virginity."

Emily was quiet, it didn't seem like Ali had finished her thought. But her heart broke a little hearing that, because Alison's the one she's waited for all this time. Alison shook her head thoughtfully.

"Because, you deserve a much better person than me."

"I don't want anyone _but _you."

"Well maybe you should."

"Don't say that-"

"Emily I'm so fucked up," Ali said, her voice trembling as she protested. "I'm all kinds of fucked up. I don't know how you put up with me. I'm just this…this…slut that teases you, I don't even know if I'm capable of loving you. You shouldn't love me, Em."

"Stop calling yourself a slut, Ali. Sluts sleep around and you haven't even-"

"I'm not a virgin anymore, Em."

"What? Who?" Emily sputtered, her voice suddenly tiny and Alison felt like she'd ripped her own heart out when she saw how dejected Emily suddenly looked. It wasn't like she wasn't one by her own will, or that she was proud, but Emily needed the whole truth.

"Cece raped me." The words fall out of her mouth so easily that she wonders why she never confessed before. She breathes a sigh of relief after saying it, finally able to tell somebody.

Emily stared, paralyzed by three little words.


	7. Heartbeat pt 2

**Here's pt. 2, because I really like reading your reactions and thoughts. You guys are sweet.**

**Except, to the anon that said I made Alison's interaction with Emily 'as worse as the show', I disagree. The writers are hinting towards the fact that Alison is a natural sociopath and plays with people like her dolls; she's incapable of sympathy or empathy and void of natural feelings. Alison on the show ****_cannot_**** love. Or so they're making it seem that way. I prefer to write Alison as tainted, but by no means a sociopath. Just damaged.**

"Cece _what_?" Emily asks, her voice rising unintentionally but she can't help the way anger courses through her veins. Suddenly all she sees is red.

"Don't be mad at me," Alison whimpered.

"Mad at YOU?" Emily asks, repeating Alison's words from earlier, incredulous. "Good god Ali, why the hell would I be mad at you? Cece Drake is the one who is going to hell."

"It wasn't just Cece," Ali admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.

"**_What?_**" Ali feels oddly safe all of a sudden. They were wrong. Emily does believe her.

"Ian, Garrett, and Darren-"

"They raped you?!"

"No, Emily please calm down," Ali says as gently as she can. "They just…did a lot of other stuff."

"So when I walked in on you and Ian that day…oh god…" Emily felt like she was going to be sick. She had walked in on Ian trying to take advantage of and rape Alison. And then she had told Ali she was done with her. She remembers vividly the way Alison ran after her and pleaded with her- and Emily had run away. Thinking back, she's glad she didn't kick Alison out of her house that night.

"I know how it looked, I don't blame you," Ali repeated, on the verge of tears. "But I was too scared to tell you the truth."

"Ali…I…"

"I was so scared Emily," Alison's voice breaks as her resolve crumbles and she forces herself to look at Emily. "When you saw Cece that day…she…"

Now Emily really feels like she's going to be sick. And she actually gets up and goes over to her open window to breathe- because god, the thought of Alison scared and being forced upon just makes the bile in her throat rise. The thought of anyone's hands on Alison makes Emily jealous, but this makes Emily sick to her stomach.

The swimmer remembers the bruises on Ali's neck, the way her clothes were disheveled, her distraught state, and the way she'd begged for time. How could Alison even remotely understand what she's feeling for Emily when all she knows is sex? Everything is clicking now, like a giant light bulb is going off in her head. Alison's overly sexual demeanor, the way she struggled with showing her real feelings for anyone let alone Emily, her mood swings, -

A soft hand on her arm pulls her out of her thoughts. Alison looks at her as she turns around. "Emily…I was…I am…I was so scared you'd hate me," she cries quietly.

"For being raped?"

"I mean I had an orgasm," Ali said looking at her feet. When Emily was silent, she looked up to see her brows furrowed trying to understand. "When Cece 'raped' me, I…I was turned on and I…she made…gave me a…"

Ali couldn't even talk about it like she thought she could. She found her whole body flooded with humiliation at the thought of how there was pleasure there when Cece violated her. Emily touched her arm lightly, letting her know it was okay.

"She said she wouldn't leave until she made me cum," Alison mumbled. Emily's fists clenched as she stopped herself from leaving and going straight to _kill_ Cece for touching Alison.

"Ali that's rape, that's nothing to be embarrassed of," Emily said firmly. "Think of it this way- she was trying to manipulate your body to make it okay. It's not fucking okay."

Ali nodded and looked away. "Emily…what do I do?"

Her voice cracked at the end and she sounded so completely broken.

"I," Emily paused not knowing what to say. She knew the blonde wouldn't immediately tell an authority, no matter how much she wanted her to. And to be honest, Emily didn't know how she was going to keep this a secret. But the swimmer took the blonde's hands in her own and held them protectively. "I don't know Ali."

"Promise me you won't tell," Ali said with wide desperate eyes as she saw the wheels turning in Emily's head.

"I can't promise that-"

"Emily you can't tell anyone, they'll ruin me," Ali started sounding frantic.

"More than this?" Emily shot back.

"Ian has videos of me, and Cece could convince everyone it was consensual, she's crazy Emily," Alison warned.

"Videos?"

"I've made a lot of bad decisions and been in enough bad situations that ended up documented," Alison said slowly. "And when…when Cece found out how you felt about me, she saw right through me when I acted like that meant nothing to me, like you were just another person in love with me."

Emily stared, speechless. That was her biggest fear all along, that Ali just saw her as another admirer.

"But you weren't," Ali's voice shook as she forced herself to tell Emily the truth she knew the swimmer needed to hear. "you were the first person to ever put me ahead of themselves. The only person to teach me what love is. And she took advantage of that, taunting me and threatening to tell everyone how I felt, and to show you all those videos to make you hate me- and you would, if you saw them."

Alison paused, shaking her head as she laughed bitterly. "People think I'm this strong, unafraid bitch who can face anything and come out on top. But I was terrified of the way you made me feel," she said as she tried to keep herself collected. "So I phased you out, pushed you away and hoped Cece would stop taunting me. When you started dating Ben, I got drunk, like, really drunk that weekend because I knew it was my own fault. I blacked out, and when I woke up in my underwear next to Cece, I forced her to tell me what happened."

Emily's heart and head were pounding. This was information overload for her. Alison had kept secrets from her for so long, and now she was spilling them all one after the other.

"I was black out drunk and she took advantage of me, and Ian got it on tape. Except the way he shot it makes it look like I asked for it, and complied. I look like a total whore."

Alison observed Emily carefully, gauging her reactions to her words. Emily looked heartbroken, her hands had loosened and Alison wanted to grip them tighter and hold them, but she let go knowing Emily needed space.

"I didn't know what I was doing," she whispered. "I don't remember any of it. I didn't consider it losing my virginity, because I don't know exactly what happened, the video ends before that. But I guess she ended up taking it anyway, cause I sure as hell remember what happened that day. I remember crying before I got drunk, and after, because you were the only person I wanted and I didn't know how to face that reality. After that night, Cece took our sick friendship to a whole other level and became obsessed with me and sneaking in to my room and touching me. She was the one who taught me all about sex and encouraged me when I was only 13 to do stupid things. Now that I look back, she's always had this weird obsession with me. I was 13 and she was 18, like the rest of Jason's sick friends."

Alison stopped to let Emily process all that. The brunette seemed so close to asking a million questions, but she just stood there, silent, and suddenly found the ground, the wall, or anything really more interesting than Alison's eyes.

"Maybe I don't know how to love, and I don't truly love you that way, Emily. Not yet, not the way you love me. But I know that what I feel for you isn't just friendship," Alison said as she gently covered Emily's hands with her own and rubbed them affectionately. She waited until Emily would look her in the eye again to speak.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, I just want you to know the truth. My absent parents never showed me half as much love and affection in 18 years as you have in the three that you've known me. I don't know how to do that, Em. I'm trying, but I don't know how to just be a loving person. I know how to be sweet and flirty, and with you it's just so _easy_. I stayed up all night after Cece…you know…and, when I saw you sleeping in my bed, and when I thought about what just happened, I just told myself I had to stop running from you. I've been miserable for years now, and you, along with the girls, have been the only positives in my life. Don't you dare doubt for a second that you mean the world to me, because you're the only person I care about, the only person I have _ever_ opened up to like this, and the only person I trust with my life."

Emily stared, completely floored. She didn't know what to say.

"And if you tell anyone, I might have to kill you," Ali joked softly as she forced a smile, trying to lighten the situation. But she watched Emily struggle to smile back. She'd seen that face a thousand times, it was the face Emily tried to make when she was trying to be brave but felt insecure and afraid.

"I see the thoughts turning in your head," Alison said gently as she squeezed Emily's hand. "Stop worrying. I know what you're thinking- of course you're more than a friend to me Emily. That's something I'm not confused about anymore. I've wanted you since the moment we met, too. I just didn't know it then. When you get really close to me, my heart beats faster and my stomach twists, in a good way. I've had butterflies countless times since I've met you. And god, Em, you're gorgeous- you're a freakin' mermaid. And if I saw you as just a friend, I'd feel threatened by you. Instead, I'm intimidated because you're so good, you're so innocent, and you're incredibly beautiful, and I'm afraid-"

Emily cut her off by leaning in and kissing her softly. She pulled back, and stared, apologizing quickly. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that right now."

Ali instead stared at her with fluttering eyes and didn't think twice before grabbing Emily's face in her hands and crashing their lips together messily but neither girl could be bothered as tongues fought for control and little tiny moans escaped both of them. The blonde pulled away quickly before she lost her self-control, but there was a smile on her face. She pulled Emily's hand up and put it over her heart, which was pounding. "If you ever doubt how I feel about you, just know that sometimes you make my heart pound even harder."

Emily finally smiled shyly and blushed.

"As much as I'd like to just keep kissing you, I think you need time to think," Ali said with a sad smile.

"I know this sounds over-protective but I never want to let you out of my sight ever again," Emily murmured as she pulled Alison close to her and sighed as she inhaled Ali's scent- after all this time, it was still the most comforting and soothing smell in the world.

"If our positions were switched right now, I'd say the same," Ali reassured her.

"Date me," Emily blurted out leaning back to look at Ali. Alison just stared at her before an amused look crossed her face briefly.

"You're just quite impulsive right now aren't you?"

"Is that a yes?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Ali hesitatingly said. "I want to. Believe me, I want to. But I'm not stable right now, and committing to me-"

"Do you want to see other people? Is there someone else you want to date?"

"What? No, Em, I just told you-"

"Would you be angry if I dated another girl? What about Samara?"

"Don't make me answer that," Alison growled sharply. The tone in her voice and icy blue that flashed through her eyes said everything Emily needed to know. "It was hard enough watching you with that _Neanderthal _in the halls."

"So date me," Emily said before explaining herself. "Look, it doesn't matter to me that you're not sure if you love me or not. I know you love me, you're just unsure if you could _love _me. People don't get into new relationships only once they're in love, it takes time. I don't want to date anyone else, and you don't either. Even if we weren't technically dating… I mean, let's be real Ali, after tonight I'd probably still behave like we were. I know you're struggling right now, god I can't imagine what you're going through, but I want to be here for you as your best friend, and your girlfriend. I know it's sudden, but really then again it's not. We've been at this for three years and look how much pain we've caused ourselves by living in fear of how we feel."

Emily was looking at Ali with such earnest eyes and begging the blonde to step off the edge with her. Ali just slowly nodded.

"Okay," she whispered with a trace of a hopeful smile. "I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself if I hurt you though, like _really _hurt you."

"I trust you. We'll take it slow, so slow," Emily reassured her. Her grin was contagious and her voice sincere. "I promise."

And for once, Alison didn't feel so hopeless.


	8. XO

**I feel like a dork for posting so soon, but I can't really stop writing and I love knowing at least a few people are enjoying it. And, HowAboutEmison, you have a good point- I think it just irks me that she was so smug with Emily, and unwilling to change her ways to play nice with the liars. Thanks for reading, again. **

"Spence…Spencer…Spencer Hastings!"

Alison snapped her fingers in front of the brunette's face trying to get her attention but the book smart girl was a zombie.

"Wwwhat?" Spencer asked, barely able to focus on anything except standing at her locker.

"I asked you if you did the homework for Fitz's class," Alison said though as she looked at Spencer she already knew the answer. "Spencer what's going on?"

"Nothing," Spencer mumbled as she grabbed what she needed out of her locker and weakly shut it.

"You're over working yourself Spence," Alison hissed as she watched her competition look at her with bloodshot eyes. "People are going to start noticing that you're burning out."

"I'm fine," Spencer protested but Alison had to steady her as she almost fell over.

"Here, drink this," Alison heard her favorite voice behind her and saw Emily walk up with a water bottle. She smiled warmly. Her _girlfriend_ was always taking care of others. Alison loved how that sounded in her head, but she was still scared to say it out loud- and so was Emily. The two hadn't told anyone. Except, Ali had let Emily tell Hanna because Emily insisted the other blonde wouldn't tell a soul. Nothing had changed really, they were still only overly affectionate in private and kept it almost unnoticeable in public as the week had dragged on.

Much to Emily's relief, Alison told her that Jason left on a two week trip and that meant none of his friends would be at their house. The swimmer slept a little better knowing that but she was now on the lookout and overly protective.

"Thanks," Spencer grimaced as she took the water from Emily.

"You don't look so good," Emily said in a low voice. "You should go home and rest."

"Can't, Melissa and Ian make living at home a nightmare,"

The hair on the back of Emily's neck stood up at Ian's name but she kept a neutral face. "Why's that?"

"They're either always fighting, fucking, or getting in my face about something," Spencer told her.

"You can stay at mine tonight," Alison said quietly, trying to take a page out of Emily's book.

Spencer narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What's in it for you?"

"Nothing Spencer, I am capable of being nice sometimes you know. But if you want to sit around and deal with bullshit and people breathing down your neck all day then by all means stay at your house," Alison shot back at her, her irritation flaring. Emily gave her a look warning her to back down, and Ali's pride screamed at her as she took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"Sorry," Spencer mumbled. "I'm just really not myself right now."

Alison took pity on her and took a deep breath. "Em's coming over after her practice to help me with English, so it's not a big deal if you come over after school to sleep in the guest room."

"Okay, okay I will," Spencer said and started walking off as the bell rang. Emily made a face to Alison who rolled her eyes playfully and took after the field hockey player. She turned around and winked at Emily before giving her attention to Spencer.

X

"Helping you with English homework, really? You're way better at English than I am," Emily teased as she walked into Alison's room after she let herself in the house. Ali loved seeing Emily like this, freshly showered with no make up on. The brunette had come straight from practice at the demands of Ali's insistent texts.

"Maybe you can help me out with something else," Alison said while she went to shut and lock her door as Emily sat down at the blonde's tidy desk.

"Okay but I need to study too," Emily said as she reached into her bag and pulled a book out.

"But Em," Alison said with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes and walking over, "I have a serious problem."

Emily looked up as Alison straddled her lap with a smirk and kissed Emily. "I've been dying to touch my g_irlfriend_ all day," she whispered playfully into Emily's ear, and Emily shuddered. Alison had been dancing around that word all week, and it gave Emily butterflies to hear her say it out loud for the first time. "And if I have to wait much longer it won't be pretty."

"Thhaat sounds nice," Emily stuttered, caught off guard and completely turned on in a second. They hadn't been physical since that night aside from little lingering kisses and teasing touches. Emily was too scared to push Alison now that she knew the new secrets and she herself didn't want to go too fast. Alison loved the consideration, really, but her sex drive was going crazy.

"Does it _feel_ nice?" Ali whispered as she let her fingers trace Emily's collarbone before dipping into the swimmer's low v-neck.

"Uh huh," Emily piped up embarrassed at how nervous the blonde could make her. Sometimes she had bursts of confidence with the blonde but at others she felt like she was 15 again with the biggest secret crush.

"Remember you said there were things you wanted me to do to you?" Alison purred in a low sensual voice as her fingers teased Emily and just barely slipped into her bra and back out.

Emily nodded furiously, afraid to speak because she didn't trust herself to not stutter and fall all over her words. It was one thing before to impulsively jump Ali multiple times when she was unsure about everything but now Alison was dating her, officially, even if secretly. Alison was all hers - so completely hers - and Emily was the only object of her desires. With all the new emotions and truths, Emily felt like a nervous little kid.

"What exactly were some of those dirty, dirty thoughts you had?" Alison whispered in her ear before kissing the spot behind it that made Emily reflexively twitch and grab onto Ali's hips.

"Um," Emily said, her thoughts all jumbled as she focused on Alison who pulled her to her feet and shoved her onto the bed.

Alison kneeled on either side of Emily and pushed her swimmer back until she was fully on the mattress. She leaned down to kiss Emily as she held herself up on all fours. She teased the brunette by capturing her bottom lip between her teeth and sucking before kissing down her jaw to her pressure point before she sucked and took her sweet time listening to Emily whimper beneath her.

The swimmer felt paralyzed and completely entranced as she felt lips leave her neck and watched the blonde sit up, her pelvis on Emily's stomach. Alison smirked at Emily as she crossed her arms, grabbed her shirt, and pulled it up and over herself and threw it to the other side of the room.

"Ali-"

"Yeah yeah Em, I know, take it slow," Ali fake grumbled with a twinkle in her eye that let Emily know she was okay with that.

"That's why this," she said pointing to her bra, "is staying on."

She winked as Emily cursed herself internally, forgetting for a moment why exactly they were taking this slow. Her core was throbbing and Alison wriggled against her stomach playfully, her too-short-shorts riding up.

"Tease," Emily mumbled as she pulled Alison down so that they were face to face, Alison's blonde locks cascading around her.

"Would you have me any other way?" Alison breathed before Emily put her hand on the back of Ali's head and gently brought her lips down to meet her own.

"Never," Emily replied before kissing Alison senselessly once more. When they broke apart, both their lips swollen and bruised, they smiled at each other.

"I'm gonna go check on Spencer then hop in the shower," Ali said with a smirk at the end.

"Right now?" Emily asked wanting to cuddle some.

"Hey, I am all for taking this slow," she said as she got up towards the door and pointed between the two of them. "But, you may or may not be dating a nympho who needs to go get her fix in the shower or I'll be very, very unpleasant."

Emily rolled her eyes playfully as Ali winked and opened the door. It was Emily's turn to smirk.

"Oh Ali," she called in a singsong voice as noticed an object lying discarded on the floor by the bed.

"Yes?" the blonde replied stopping to turn around. She narrowed her eyes at Emily's big smirk.

"You forgot your shirt."


	9. All This Could Be Yours

**Reposting this cause it's being weird.  
Here's another cause you guys are the best. Honestly, the reviews make me so happy. Also, just finished writing what is now my favorite Emison bed scene of this story so far. Get ready.**

Hanna Marin had never been particularly fond of Alison. When the group had formed, she initially had felt flattered. But it wasn't long before flattery turned into fear. She had looked up to Alison ever since middle school, dreaming to be like the high school beauty queen. She had been the third to be included in Alisons' little band of friends. Spencer and Aria had come shortly before her. But now, she was sure that Alison regretted picking her.

At first, Alison probably enjoyed having her around as a mini-me, some little look-a-like that was obsessed with being just as cool as her high and mighty counter part. Alison had looked at her the way a kid looks at a new pet. She had put her on a strict diet, given her a makeover, and given her old clothes she hardly wore anymore. But as Hanna grew up, grew closer with the other girls, Alison had lashed out more and more at her. Sure, the two had tender moments where Hanna thought that _maybe_ just maybe Alison cared about her sincerely despite all her bullshit. But she could never tell for sure- none of them could.

At first she was unsure as to what caused Alison to start hanging out with them aside from the fact that all five of them coincidentally had been loners in the best friend department. Spencer explained that her and Ali were in a lot of the same classes, homeroom, and generally just started to talk to each other. Once Alison realized she liked the competition with Spencer, they dragged the odd but adorably artsy Aria into the mix as a buffer. Alison found Hanna in detention one day and walked home with her and then began to call her one of the friends.

But Hanna had always thought that the queen bee had her own posse and plenty of people to choose from. Over time she learned that though everyone had looked up to and admired/feared the blonde, few people actually knew anything about her much less hung out with her. Hanna always thought Alison was weird in a way- she had handpicked each of them, and used them to her advantage. The friendship she had with the other three girls was very real, especially Emily. She just wasn't so sure about Alison, and whether Alison actually had a heart- which was exactly why Hanna was worried about the swimmer's well being.

She remembers the day when Alison met Emily, the last one of their group. It had been nearing the end of freshman year. Hanna had actually lived next door to Emily in elementary school, and their friendship wavered on and off throughout middle school and just faded in high school as Emily had long since moved and joined the varsity swim team and Hanna was plucked by Alison. The two still said hi and chatted briefly in the hallways and class. But school and sports and friends caused them to drift apart slowly until it was just nods of acknowledgement in passing.

The girls had been standing around Spencer's locker, and Alison turned to walk to class. She had made it to the end of the hall before an unsuspecting brunette had accidentally slammed right into Alison. Books dropped on the ground and Alison found coffee all over herself as she landed on the floor with the collider.

"God, watch where you're fucking going, clutz," Ali hissed sharply and as she stared at the mess around her on the floor and shook her head.

"I-I-I'm so s-s-s-orry," a quiet voice had stuttered and Alison rolled her eyes, annoyed at the timid shrewd who had just ruined her new outfit. But as she looked up she saw a worried face looking like a deer caught in headlights. Ali thought maybe the fall had knocked the sensibility right out of her because she could have sworn there was a bright aura around this tan-skinned beauty who was hastily trying to get all of Alison's books together. The girl got on her knees and started scrambling for the discarded items, and Alison sat there staring at her thin, lean arms and long brown locks and her face- god, Ali had thought to herself that she must have been in shock from falling because this girl was the prettiest thing she'd ever seen. She shook herself out of it quickly.

"It's fine," she huffed and examined the damage on her shirt and jeans.

"I can pay for that," the girl added quickly. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to ruin your clothes, I really am sorry."

Alison wanted to roll her eyes- weakness wasn't really attractive to her. But when she saw the fear in bright brown orbs staring at her, she felt something stir inside her.

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled. "It wasn't your fault."

"Emily," Alison heard and both girls on the ground turned to see Hanna and the other two quickly approaching. Alison saw the quivering brunette out of the corner of her eye and wanted to will herself to make some snide comment to her, or at least prove she was indeed the Alison DiLaurentis- she had a reputation to uphold after all. But all she felt was pity.

"You know her?" Alison asked sharply to Hanna and noticed how nervous her three friends were. They knew that when Alison was wronged her temper flew off the handle pretty quickly.

"Ali this is Emily, we've known each other since like pre-school, she's the sweetest girl ever," Hanna spoke quickly as if trying to diffuse the situation.

"I'm so sorry," Emily blurted again. "I was on my way to see my Coach before class and didn't have a lot of time-"

"It's whatever," Alison said trying to calm down but maintain her air of cool status. "I didn't really like this shirt anyway."

Hanna and Aria shared a look knowing that it very well was one of Alison's favorite shirts.

"Are you Emily Fields? The only freshman on the Varsity swim team?" Spencer spoke up with curiosity.

"Yeah," Emily replied flustered and almost opened her mouth to apologize again.

"Impressive," Alison said grabbing her stuff and standing up. She noticed the way that Emily's eyes seemed to trail over her as she stood up too and only Alison was keen enough to pick up on the trace of awe in Emily's eyes mixed with fear. It was a different kind of awe though, and Alison had seen it before. It wasn't the adoring, worship kind of awe that Hanna had once- it was the kind of awe you got when you saw someone that sent shivers down your spine and made you breathless. She sneered. "An athlete who's not so good on her feet. Sounds like you're luckily better in the water."

"Ali," Aria scolded lightly.

"I'm just kidding," Ali said scoffed and yet couldn't tear her eyes away from Emily's beautiful lips. And those long, tan smooth legs- god Alison had only ever thought girls like that existed in fantasies.

"Again, I'm so sorry," Emily sputtered.

"Emily," she said sharply but eased up as she continued. "Don't worry about it. Seriously. Shit happens. You don't owe me anything. I probably should've watched where I was going."

What Alison didn't notice was the looks her three friends shared. Never had Alison controlled her temper so well.

She saw Emily open her mouth to apologize again and rolled her eyes, but she secretly loved how genuine this girl seemed.

"Look you can meet me at the Brew after school and buy me a coffee okay? And maybe it won't end up on me," she said nonchalantly. Emily nodded vigorously.

"Perfect, see you at 3," Alison said and brushed past all of them. Hanna offered Emily a sympathetic smile and followed after her friends.

"What was that?" she heard Spencer whisper to Aria.

"I'm not sure…" Aria replied, and they looked at Hanna who shrugged.

"If you have something to say, say it to my face," Ali said in a menacing voice turning around startling the three.

"We were just…impressed that you didn't rip her a new one for ruining your favorite shirt," Spencer quipped.

"It's not my favorite shirt," Ali snapped.

"It kinda is," Hanna piped up but the glare from Alison shut her up.

"Are you going soft?" Aria teased lightly and Alison would've lashed out at her if she wasn't the compassionate, kind one who irked her the least.

"No, I'd just hate for tomorrow's gossip to be 'Alison DiLaurentis scared Rosewood's prize swimmer into hiding," Alison shot back quickly.

"Okay," Spencer said defensively. "We were just wondering."

Since then, Hanna questioned the blonde's intentions towards her childhood friend. The three knew that Alison had a soft spot for Emily, over the years they had all seen it. But when Emily told her that Alison and her were _dating_, Hanna swore she would be the one to rip Ali a new one if Alison even hurt her friend a tiny bit.

And when Hanna showed up at Emily's house unexpectedly, she certainly was not enthused at seeing the queen bee answer the door.

"Oh, hi Hanna," Alison squeaked politely.

"Ali. Where's Emily?"

"She's taking a shower, what's up?"

"Are you the guard dog at the door?" Hanna shot back with a glare, her irritation flaring. Along with the other Ali-isms that she had been molded into over the years, a short temper was top of the list.

Ali stared before stepping back and making an exaggerated hand gesture signaling her to walk in freely.

"I came to drop off the hoodie she left in my car that day," Hanna said with narrowed eyes.

"She'll be out in like, five minutes tops," Alison assured, doing her best to not fight fire with fire.

"What are you doing, Alison?" Hanna asked with an angry glare. When Alison cocked her head, playing dumb, Hanna continued, "With Emily."

"Well I was helping her with her English homework-"

"You know what I mean. Why are you screwing with Emily?"

"Watch what you say," Alison hissed getting in Hanna's face. "I know you know about us, but there are matters far beyond your knowledge that play into the situation."

"Of course, everything's complicated when it comes to you and Emily, isn't it?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means that I've woken up to multiple phone calls at all hours of the night about 'Do you think Ali is into me? Hanna I think she's into me! Hanna she drunkenly kissed me yesterday after the football game behind the bleachers, but then she went to a party with Noel, what do you think that means? Hanna I think I should tell her how I feel, do you think she'll freak out?'"

Alison grimaced and wondered exactly how many phone calls there had been and couldn't bear to think of Emily all heartbroken and confused.

"I remember the first time she brought it up, Alison. You know what she said to me?"

Alison kept her stony silence and merely stared the other blonde down.

"After only a few months of knowing you, she comes to me at my house and she's beside herself. And she goes, 'Hanna, I think something's wrong with me.'"

Alison's heart hurt, she never knew that she caused Emily so much confusion. Of course, she had her own sexual and identity dilemmas, but Emily didn't deserve that kind of pain.

"I asked her what was wrong. But I already had an idea. She would sneak these really longing stare in at you when you weren't looking, and I always prayed you'd never notice because I didn't want you to humiliate her. She started crying and telling me that she felt terrible and that she didn't understand why this is happening to her, but that she was so attracted to you and couldn't help herself."

Alison's jaw dropped. Emily had never told her any of this.

"I calmed her down and told her it'd all be fine, and that I accepted her and that she should just try to move on because clearly you were straight. Obviously, she didn't. There were so many late night texts, phone calls, and finally she came over beaming and goes 'Alison and I made out last night at Noel Kahn's party'."

Alison remembers that clearly. It was the first time she had the courage to goad Emily on to kiss her. They were in the backyard, getting some refreshing air away from the party, and she had given that signature smile she knew got her what she wanted. It was sloppy and drunk but Ali had enjoyed every second of it. But she pretended like it never happened the next morning.

"I never understood why she was so attracted to you until she told me that you would do little things like touch her leg, or smile at her longer, or say certain things. But every time you would just turn right around and prove her wrong. So I swear to God Alison if you turn right around and prove her wrong this time, I'll prove to everyone just how much of a bitch you can be."

Alison stood her ground, jaw locked and fists clenched. Their fiery intense stare was held for quite a period before Alison looked away and spoke.

"I picked you because you were weak and willing to believe anything I said, be anything I wanted you to. It was like having my own personal cheerleader. But that's all changed hasn't it? It's frightening Hanna how much you sound just like me."

Hanna wasn't expecting that kind of response. She just shook her head and walked out of the house in a rage. Frustrated, Alison sat on the stairs and tried to take deep breaths in and out. She knew it had been a bad idea to give the green light on letting Hanna know


	10. Fiction

**Emison emotional smut. My new favorite part of this story. **

Emily walked into her bedroom in her pj's. Her mom was working a night shift so she could have time off this weekend when her father came home. She saw Alison standing by the window peering out, in her own little world.

"Earth to Ali," Emily called as she crawled into bed under the sheets. Alison turned around with a very solemn look on her face but she went over to the bed.

"What happened? Did something happen?" Emily worriedly asked as she saw the blonde's face. Alison shook her head and got under the covers. She inched closer to Emily and lay on her side, facing her. They looked at each other for a few moments before Emily faintly smiled and Alison's eyes softened.

"I just wish I was braver," Alison said in a hushed voice. "I've been pretty awful to you, haven't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we met? I could tell you were instantly attracted to me, and while it gave me a sense of empowerment, it frightened me because I felt it too," Alison continued. "I gave you so many mixed signals that sometimes I couldn't believe you stuck around."

"It was…difficult," Emily said carefully choosing her words. "I didn't really face it until after we had become friends and we hung out alone for the first time. Do you remember?"

"We drove all the way to Ikea," Alison said grinning fondly at the memory.

"Because your parents gave you a $500 giftcard they didn't want," Emily finished. Alison nodded. 90% of the times she hung out with Emily were wonderful, but this was a genuinely good day. They had gone to Ikea over near Philadelphia, far, far away from Rosewood- and that put Alison at such ease.

"I have to admit something," Alison spoke up. "When we left the house, I was tipsy. You offered to drive cause you just got your license, so I took two shots a bit before you showed up because I was nervous. But I was basically sober by the time we got there."

Emily laughed and shook her head. "I think that was the moment the feelings came out and never left again. I'd never seen you like that- you were so…childish. You would drag me into every setup and make me play along to a scenario with you. And you pointed at everything you wanted and would grab my arm so excitedly and I remember that one time you grabbed my hand and just didn't let go as we walked. Someone eventually gave us a second glance, and for a moment I saw you revert back to who you are at school, and you let go. But then we reached the beds section-"

"And I told you we should test them together. I pulled you down on top of me on one, and I gave you those eyes that I hoped would tell you to just let me be that way without questioning it, and you did," Ali says with such appreciation that she thinks she just may almost start crying.

Emily just smiled as she watched Alison reminisce. "I knew when we got back to your place and I helped you build your desk that I was kinda screwed because I liked you."

"Hanna and I got in a mini fight just now," Ali swallowed thickly as she spilled to Emily. "She stopped by to drop off a hoodie, and warned me not to hurt you. She also told me about how much pain I caused you with my hot and cold behavior."

Emily smile slowly disappeared as she saw Alison's pained face.

"You never told me you cried to Hanna about how you felt guilty for being attracted to me," Ali choked out, hating every minute of this.

"It wasn't one of my favorite memories to revisit," Emily mumbled.

"I never meant to make you feel ashamed or anything like that," Alison insisted. "I mean at times I wanted to push you away, but never make you feel like that. You've never come out to me, Em. Between the two of us we've always just known and I never judged you or felt uncomfortable about it- I just was uncomfortable with my own social life and sexuality. But I just wish I hadn't done all the shit I did to make you feel guilty or think that I wouldn't accept you being into girls."

"I know that now," Emily reassured. "And that's what matters."

"Good," Alison whispered. She leaned over and kissed Emily who grabbed Alison's shirt, wanting to show the blonde how much she needed her, and pulled her closer until she rolled over and had the blonde on top of her. Her hands went to the small of Alison's back and pushed the hem of her shirt up a little as her fingers skimmed the smooth skin. Alison sighed into her mouth and Emily used this as the perfect opportunity to slide her hands into Ali's jeans and was pleasantly surprised by the lack of fabric and instead soft skin.

"Goin commando?" she whispered huskily as she squeezed Alison's ass causing the blonde to moan.

"Was hoping I'd get lucky with a certain brunette," Alison breathed.

"She's the lucky one," Emily said softly as her nose brushed Ali's and Alison couldn't help herself as she pulled Emily's face close to hers and kissed her hard with unapologetic want. Emily's tongue swept the inside of her mouth and a strong heat shot straight down to Alison's core.

Alison pulled back and groaned as she rolled off onto her back.

"What?" Emily asked worried that she'd done something wrong.

"I just really want to have sex," Alison said bluntly.

"With you," she added quickly before Emily's mind could wander to bad places.

"Me too," Emily added quietly.

Alison shook her head and kissed her cheek while lingering there for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said leaning back on her side and letting her hand drape over the swimmer's tummy and rest on her hip under her shirt. "I shouldn't pressure you, I know you're not ready. This is me being selfish."

"I'm tired of being so cautious," Emily said, surprising the blonde. She pushed Alison back and pressed her body on top of the blonde.

"Em, babe," Ali said affectionately and Emily's heart swelled at the use of the pet name. "We've only been dating officially for four days. I'm not in that emotional place you want me to be."

Emily just kissed right beside Ali's lips and down to her jaw, up to her ear, and pulled the lobe into her mouth before kissing behind her ear, driving Alison crazy. She was trembling.

"Emily Fields," she warned, as she felt the swimmer's hand drift farther up her shirt. "Don't be a tease."

Emily ignored her and kissed her, running her hand over Ali's bra and feeling her nipple harden through the material as her thumb brushed over it. Alison breathed shakily as Emily moved down to her neck and kissed her pressure point. A moan escaped Alison and Emily swore she'd never tire of hearing that.

"Just let me make you feel loved," Emily said softly and as Alison glanced at her through hooded eyes she saw vulnerability painted across the swimmer's face.

She nodded. "You already do."

Emily smiled. There was such affection and love in those hypnotizing blue eyes that she loved so much. She continued sucking on her neck as Alison gave in and her back arched up into Emily as the swimmer kept teasing her nipple through her bra.

The blonde pushed her mermaid up and pulled her shirt off, and no sooner than it was off did the swimmer crash their lips together. Alison gripped Emily's shirt tightly and started to inch it up, pulling it off as Emily pulled back from their kiss.

Her shy mermaid blushed when she saw the way Alison's eyes darkened with lust and glanced at her up and down.

"God, Em, you're so beautiful," Alison said knowing that word would sit better with the swimmer than sexy or hot. Emily smiled shyly once more before leaning in, but as Ali closed her eyes in anticipation the swimmer ghosted her lips over Ali's and dragged them down to her bare shoulder causing a shiver to shoot down Ali's spine. Emily pulled down the bra strap and kissed smooth skin all the way down as she heard Ali's breathing rapidly increase. Emily reached around and unclasped Alison's bra before she pulled it off and pushed Alison gently back on the bed. The blonde shut her eyes with a smile on her face as her mermaid leaned back down and captured her left nipple with her lips, causing Alison to gasp loudly.

Emily began to use her tongue to circle and then flick her nipple as Alison's hands flew to Emily's head and tangled in her hair, holding the swimmer there as she arched her back and moaned. Using her free hand, Emily reached down and let it trail very slowly up the blonde's side. She used her teeth to lightly pull and tease the hard nipple while her hand grabbed and squeezed the blonde's right breast before rolling the nipple between her fingers and pinching it.

"That feels so good," Alison moaned out between whimpers as she pulled Emily back up and kissed her hungrily, her one hand tangled in Emily's hair and the other snaking up the tanned girl's defined body. As her hand brushed up Emily's side, the blonde felt her sigh into her mouth before Ali squeezed her breast and ran her thumb over Emily's hard nipple that was straining through her bra. The soft moan that Emily released into her mouth made her wetter than she already was. It was her new favorite sound and she loved knowing that she was the one to make perfect, innocent, shy little Emily come undone.

"Ali," the swimmer tried to speak between breaths. "Tonight's about you."

"You are a part of me," Alison said without a second thought.

Emily smiled into their kiss and Alison felt that this was what she had waited for since she met the swimmer. This was what she had been missing all this time.

But her train of thought suddenly became jumbled as Emily's hand reached down and began to rub Alison through her jeans, and the blonde's hips jerked upward, desperate for friction. She kissed Emily furiously, unable to get enough.

Emily pulled away and sat up with one knee between Ali's legs and the other on the outside. She fumbled with the button and zipper and pulled Ali's jeans off in one swift motion. Alison watched as Emily's eyes turned black with desire and she shivered with anticipation. She leaned up and yanked Emily down on top of her. The swimmer positioned her thigh so it was against the blonde's center, and used her left hand to guide Ali's thigh up. Her hand ran up and down the smooth skin before slipping down between her legs and running it up and down Alison's panties over her slit. Alison bucked her hips up to grind against Emily's thigh as the swimmer placed open kisses all over her chest. Emily flipped them and pulled Ali's hips so that she rolled her hips against Emily's thigh so her clit hit it. The swimmer felt heat shoot straight to her core as the blonde moaned loudly. Alison kissed her for moments before weakly admitting, "I need you Emily." She said it that night, and was rejected. But she knew the swimmer wouldn't push her away this time.

"Need me to what?" Emily whispered in a husky voice as she rolled her own hips up and Alison almost couldn't respond. She didn't verbally, but she dragged Emily's hand down over her hip and slipped it in her panties and mewled as Emily's fingers brushed over her clit.

"Ali," Emily murmured as she gently put the blonde on her back and laid on the side leaning into her. "You're so wet."

Alison almost lost it, hearing sweet Emily say anything remotely dirty was the hottest thing to her.

Her hand came out and pulled her panties all the way down and Alison kicked them off. She was completely naked and exposed but she felt safer than she ever had in any sexual experience. Emily's eyes were fixed on her shaved, glistening pussy as her hand rubbed the inside of her thigh and Alison knew she was taking her time to really look at Ali. She began to feel slightly self-conscious. Emily on the other hand was going crazy, Ali's wetness had dripped down the side of her thighs and Emily could feel it.

"Take your shorts off," Ali breathed as Emily's fingers ghosted over her center and the swimmer complied but Ali instantly missed her touch.

"Better?"

"You're so hot, and you don't even know it," Ali said in a low voice as she let her eyes travel over her.

Emily kissed her, and dragged one finger slowly through Alison's slit as the blonde gasped in surprise and moaned with her eyes slammed shut in ecstasy.

"Fuck, Em," she whimpered as Emily's fingers began to circle her clit before rubbing it and spreading Ali's wetness all over. Her body shuddered and she looked at Emily pleadingly, and Emily, on an impulse (because this had been happening a lot lately), brought her fingers covered in Alison up to her mouth and sucked on them, tasting her. Alison's eyes widened and she couldn't have been more turned on in that moment. Shy Emily merely smirked before running her hand down back Ali's body, pinching her pert nipple on the way, before rubbing her pussy as her hips bucked up. Her fingers parted the wet folds tentatively, building anticipation in the blonde. Slowly, she slipped a finger in and Alison's head fell back with a loud, long moan that caused Emily to become soaked.

"Em, fuck," she panted with her mouth open in pleasure.

"Does that feel good?" Emily asked softly as she slipped it in and out, watching as Ali's hips moved with her.

"Yes, fuck," Ali cursed as she arched her back up off the bed when Emily slipped a second finger in.

"Emily," she mewled as the swimmer began to pump her fingers in and out quickly. The blonde leaned up and Emily knew she wanted to kiss so she pulled Ali's bottom lip with her teeth before kissing her hard, shoving her tongue inside her mouth and swallowing every moan and whimper the blonde made. Her two fingers slipped in and out at a quickening pace and she used her thumb to press down on Ali's clit and rub it, which drove Alison crazy.

"Fuck, baby, I'm so close," she panted and Emily almost felt like she was in a dream- Alison had never called her that before, and she loved it. "Em I-I'm I-I'm gonn-," but she moaned loudly as she felt the fingers curl inside and Emily and watched as the blonde's head flew back and her hands gripped the sheets, her back arching and chest heaving. Her whole body was tense as she rode her orgasm out, hips bucking up.

She shook as Emily continued to pump her fingers before slowing down as Alison's body began to relax.

"Fuck," Alison whispered as Emily pulled her fingers out. She looked at her flushed tanned beauty and kissed her lazily.

"That was incredible," Alison said softly to the brunette who beamed proudly.

"Really? I was good?"

Alison laughed, high off of Emily. "Yes, yes Em you were great. And it was great because it was with you," Alison said warmly as she rubbed Emily's arm affectionately before she leaned up and kissed her lazily once more.

"I love you," she whispered against Emily's mouth.

"I love you too, Ali," Emily said very softly as she kissed her forehead.

"You sure you don't wanna?" Ali said wiggling her eyebrows playfully as she admired Emily's body.

"Not tonight," Emily responded.

"Okay," Ali said propping herself up on one elbow and leaning over the brunette before pushing the hair behind her mermaid's ear gently. "My sweet Emily."

Emily smiled, happy to have the blonde's naked body pressed against hers. She knew in that moment that she had made Alison feel important and cared for. She was the center of Emily's world and Emily would spend every last bit of effort proving it to the blonde to make her feel loved.


	11. You Don't Know Me

**Already suffering withdrawals from the show :( haha thanks lovelies for reading, much love to you all as always.**

Spencer, Aria, and Hanna were giving Alison a very strange look. Their blonde friend was sitting there eating lunch with a huge smile on her face and bright aura while babbling on about how wonderful it was that The Brew was having an open mic night type of thing for writers. "I saw a flyer on the window when I was walking to school, it looked so cute! Coffee and poetry, ooh French poetry, sounds wonderful," she said, her eyes bright as she took a bite of her sandwich. Hanna's eyebrow raised, wondering if the blonde had lost it. Spencer meanwhile was confused as to why the queen bee was even eating enthusiastically. She knew Alison hardly ate cafeteria food, usually only picking at it.

"Hey Aria, maybe you could read some of your writing," Alison continued with no trace of sarcasm. Aria simply replied that maybe she would, she herself confused at their leader's behavior.

"There was also this puppy on the way that was totally adorable–"

"What's wrong with you?" Hanna blurted out scowling. Aria shot Hanna a scolding look.

"Tactful," Spencer quipped sarcastically as did the same as Aria.

"What, Hanna?" Alison said, her pleasant features suddenly darkening slightly as her eyebrows furrowed.

"What's going on?" Emily asked as she approached the table and sat down next to Ali.

"Oh my god," Spencer said in realization. The four looked at her. "You totally got laid!"

Alison's cheeks turned red so fast as Spencer smirked in triumph. "You did didn't you? That's why you're all bubbly and talking about puppies!"

This time Emily raised an eyebrow as Alison looked at her, but it was more out of amusement that her girlfriend had been in such a good mood. The blonde regains her composure and authoritative nature.

"If I did, it's none of your business," she brushes Spencer off.

"Oh come on Ali," the brunette says disappointedly.

"Yeah Ali, come on tell us who it was? We didn't know you were seeing anyone," Aria says eagerly. Alison locks eyes with Hanna's who is staring her down, her eyes fierce and warning her not to say the wrong thing. She looked to Emily, unsure of what to say. Emily looked just as hesitant.

"Em do you know?" Spencer said catching their exchange.

"I…um..."

"It's on the DL," Alison said smoothly.

"So Emily gets to know? Don't you trust us?" Spencer asks, slightly hurt but she wouldn't let the blonde know that.

"Of course I trust you all," Alison said growing uncomfortable. She thought she was finally okay to tell these girls, but she didn't know if Emily was. But as she felt Emily squeeze her hand on the cafeteria bench, and she knew the brunette was okay.

"So who is it?" Aria asked. Her eyes were wide with curiosity.

"You know them," Alison replied hesitantly as she looked at Emily who nodded. She looked at Hanna who was watching her like a hawk while the other two listened patiently. "I mean, you know her."

Alison shyly smiled at Emily, and it was the first time the three others had ever seen the notorious Alison DiLaurentis as anything but bold and confident.

"Emily?!" Spencer asked, her jaw dropping. Aria stared. Hanna just nodded as if to say fine. Alison realized that it sounded like the two of them just fucked randomly.

"Keep it down, Spencer," Alison hissed as she lowered her voice significantly. Then she clarified. "Yes, Emily and I are dating."

Emily didn't think it was possible, but Spencer and Aria's jaws dropped even more. Spencer turned to Hanna. "Why don't you seem surprised by this?"

Hanna shrugged. Alison appreciated her silence on the matter. Aria spoke up, asking, "How long? And…are you guys…gay?"

"No," Alison said simultaneously as Emily said, "I don't know."

"Wow," Spencer said processing that new piece of information.

"We only started dating on Sunday," Emily added in a hushed voice.

"But stuff has been going on for a long time now," Hanna chimed in.

"What?!" both Spencer and Aria exclaimed.

"Can we not talk about this right in the cafeteria?" Alison snapped, worried that someone would hear. And for the first time, it wasn't so much for her own sake but for Emily's because she was worried that fragile Emily would get hurt if someone overheard private information she wasn't willing to share publicly yet.

"It's just…wow," Spencer said quietly with a slight look of disapproval. Hanna just sat with an even bigger look of disapproval next to Aria who just had really wide eyes.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Alison said with narrowed eyes.

"I think what Spencer is trying to say is what I've been telling Emily all this time," Hanna threw in condescendingly.

"And what's that?" Alison snapped losing her patience quickly. She looked to the swimmer who looked like a dear caught in headlights.

"Guys, I'm really happy," Emily said quietly in a soft sweet voice that made Alison calm slightly.

"It's okay if you're into girls Emily," Spencer whispered in a very hushed voice so that they could barely hear her. "We love you no matter what."

Alison grinded her teeth. What about her? It wasn't like she wasn't into girls too, granted she was definitely not gay but this whole accepting her sexuality was all new for her too.

"But what?" Alison shot at Spencer, knowing the brunette well enough to know there was a but coming.

"But maybe, you should…take it slow, take some time to figure yourself out," Spencer suggested.

"Tactful," Alison hissed in a deadly low voice. "I think what you meant to say Spencer, is, 'Emily maybe you should rethink your relationship with Alison because she's a bitch and we don't trust her to treat you right.'"

Alison stood up, suddenly not hungry, as she practically slammed her tray in the trash and shoved the trash can out of the way causing it to loudly hit the wall as she walked past right out of the cafeteria as eyes watched the infamous queen bee storm out.

Emily just watched in shock before she stared at her friends in disappointment. "You guys didn't even give her a chance," she said exasperated as she stood up. "She's our friend too."

Emily got up to follow the blonde leaving the three friends hesitatingly watching the sweetest girl they knew run after the bitchiest girl they knew.

X

"Alison," Emily called entering the bathroom knowing the blonde was in there. She locked the door behind her, checking under all the stalls before confronting the blonde.

"They all think I'm just messing with you, like you're a fling or something," Alison spat bitterly as she leaned over the sink, her rage brewing as her body tensed angrily.

"I'll talk to them," Emily said unsure whether or not to approach her.

"The one time I actually tell the truth and am open about _my _feelings, they immediately assume the worst about me," Alison seethed.

"Well am I fling to you?"

Alison shot her a heated glare through the mirror. "Emily you damn well know how I feel about you."

"If I'm not a fling, they'll see that eventually," Emily said softly. "They'll come around. And, I will make them feel guilty for every second that they don't."

Alison almost laughed at the way Emily smiled proudly at the end of that threat.

"I'm rubbing off on you," she said with a smirk. "It probably doesn't help that we're dating secretly."

"My dad's coming home right now, he'll be back for dinner. You should come over, forget the girls," Emily suggested, trying to take Ali's mind off things.

"I don't want to interrupt on your father/daughter time," Alison said frowning. "I know how much that means to you."

"He loves you," Emily assured. And it was true. Over the years, Alison had developed a habit of hanging around Emily right as her dad came home and right before he left again. It was always just the two of them. To be honest, Alison liked to see Emily and her father when they first saw each other and when she had to hug him goodbye. Her swimmer raved about her dad- she never said a bad word about him. The love for her father was obvious, and it was something Alison didn't have in her life.

But watching Emily and Mr. Fields interact really made Alison smile. And she of course put on the full Alison DiLaurentis charm when he talked to her.

"Are you going to tell your parents?" Alison asked her gently.

"Should I?" Emily replied hesitantly.

"I think so," Alison said quietly. "If not now, then sometime. They should know who their daughter is, they love you Em. Your parents would never stop loving you."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Alison quipped teasingly.

"Are you going to tell your parents?"

Alison scoffed and turned back to the sink. "Sure, if it ever comes up. If I said, 'Hey mom, and dad I'm into girls too, surprise' I think they'd just look at me funny and wonder why I took too much of their time to tell them something they would dismiss as a phase."

"Your parents don't know what they're missing," Emily said frowning. She knew the DiLaurentis' only cared about Alison's flawless social image and grades. They needed her to show up to certain events as their prize possession, and then they didn't really interact with her unless necessary. "It'd mean a lot if you came to dinner."

Alison looked at Emily's face and knew she couldn't say no to those begging eyes. "Alright, how could I say no to free food and a chance to tease my girlfriend under the table?"

"No way, there will be none of that," Emily said quickly as she turned red.

"Whatever you say," Alison said smiling innocently before she planted a kiss on Emily's cheek. "Let's get to class."

X

Alison stared at her closet debating what to wear. Aria had called her after school apologizing for her rude reaction and said she wanted to come over and talk to her. Alison only relented because Aria was her second favorite to Emily. She was listening to Aria talk as she stared in the closet.

"I'm sorry if I came off rudely, it's just that Emily is, like, known as a sweetheart, and I love you Ali but you have a reputation-"

"Which one are you referring to? The one where I'm a bitch, or the one where I'm a slut? Or both?"

"Alison those are exaggerated personas of you that you projected. They aren't who you truly are," Aria said gently.

"Either way, I didn't really care before what people thought of me," Alison said as she turned to look at Aria. "I mean I cared what you guys thought, especially Emily. But I didn't care if people thought I was a whore or a bitch, you know my reputation is infamous- I can be a charming mystery. And part of me likes it that way. But when I think about how it affects my relationship with Em, I really regret it."

"You really care about her," Aria said as if she was really acknowledging it.

"I care about all of you," Alison said trying to be nonchalant about it. "In different ways, but I do."

"Why'd you become friends with me?" Aria asked curiously.

"You are adorable," Ali said smiling. "I wanted to be your friend because I heard rumors that you were quirky but loveable. I heard people saying you were kind of a loner ever since your middle school friend moved away. You were artsy and felt things deeply, I read some of your poetry on your blog. Despite what you may think Aria, I enjoy hanging out with you."

"I didn't think you didn't," Aria reassured taken aback that Alison had put that much thought into their friendship and even read her writing.

"Spencer fuels my competitive spirit, and Hanna idolized me. It was easy being friends with her until she stopped, and then we became competitive too. But by then we were all friends, kind of woven together."

"Makes sense," Aria said nodding. "Did you seek Emily out?"

"No," Alison said pensively. "That was by chance."

"You know, even though everyone knows us as best friends, I don't really know a lot about you," Aria said curiously.

"What do you wanna know? Ask away," Alison said calmly.

"Why do you feel like you have to be so…on the offense all the time?" Aria asked.

"Because if you're weak, the wrong people will take advantage of you, and some won't be so nice about it," Alison said seriously, trying to teach Aria.

"But what about with us?"

"Always be careful who you trust, Aria. People aren't always what they seem," Alison said with such bitterness that Aria was caught off guard. "Obviously I trust you or I wouldn't be talking to you like this. But you can bet that if you were Spencer or Hanna, I'd be a lot more closed off."

"How did you know Emily liked you?" Aria asked curious of how it all began.

"I didn't gain my reputation without any skills. I'm really good at reading people, and I could tell right when we met that she was checking me out," Alison said with a smile. "Whether it was intentional or unintentional. To be honest at first I couldn't tell if she was into girls, or just me. But as I began to observe her, I'd notice the way she looked at girls and that confirmed it."

"I think you should wear this," Aria said after a pause. She got up and picked out a nice mid-thigh blue skirt with a tight white shirt and belt. "She'll love it."

"Thanks Aria," Alison said smiling.

"Ali…I know that they are worried about Emily's heart being broken and all, but I can see how much she means to you, and I hope your heart won't be broken either."

Alison never appreciated the little artsy brunette more than she did in that moment.

"Thank you Aria. If I didn't have Emily, I might've fallen for you," she teased lightly and Aria knew the blonde was quite focused on another brunette.


	12. Everything I Ask For

**Just keep writin', just keep writin'. **

"So Emily, how's school going?" Mr. Fields asked at the dinner table. Alison sat eating quietly next to Emily and her parents were at heads of the table. As nervous as Alison was, she saw how her swimmer was beaming from ear to ear and it made her heart flutter.

"It's going really well, senior year isn't that bad," Emily said softly with a smile.

"Swimming is going alright?"

"Yes dad, Coach has us working extra hard for the meet at the end of the month."

"How about you? Anything new, Alison? Is there a lucky guy in the picture?" Mr. Fields asked smiling.

"Things are great, but nope there is no guy," she said with a smug smile and mischievous eyes since she had anticipated questions like that.

"I'd think a pretty girl like you would be taken," he complimented.

"You'd be surprised by a lot of things," Alison said carefully with a teasing look at Emily. Emily blushed and her parents shared a look that went unnoticed by the two of them.

"Are you still dating Ben?" Mr. Fields asked and Emily almost choked on her food and Alison smirked.

"He hasn't come around at all lately," Mrs. Field's noted carefully.

"We broke up, he was too pushy," Emily explained.

"He was no good for you anyway," Alison said as she continued eating.

"I agree with Alison, he was obnoxious," Mr. Fields agreed.

"But polite," Mrs. Fields interjected.

Alison shrugged. "Polite doesn't overrule how he was overly aggressive with poor Em here."

"Ali!"

"What do you mean aggressive?" Mr. Field's suddenly asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Nothing," Emily said quickly shooting a look at her secret girlfriend but Alison ignored her.

"He was kind of a pig. I walked in on him making Emily…uncomfortable at school," Alison went on.  
"Alison!" Emily looked so flustered her parents didn't know what to say.

"But nothing happened?" Mr. Fields asked cautiously.

"No," Emily said shaking her head furiously before she gave Alison a softer look, surprising the blonde. "She stopped him."

"I never would have guessed," Mrs. Fields said in shock and Alison had to hold back an eye roll because she knew how Pam pushed Emily to date a guy for such a long time. "He was so nice."

Emily just shook her head while Alison caught Mr. Fields looking at her appreciatively and she gave him a faint smile and head nod.

"Well I have some choice words for that boy," Mr. Fields muttered as he continued eating, causing the two girls to smile.

The rest of dinner went smoothly without interruptions or anything out of the normal. Alison's phone buzzed, and she excused herself for a minute but Emily forgot about it as time went on. Emily's parents didn't care if Ali stayed over, and Emily was more than happy to watch a movie before bed with her dad and Alison.

The three of them were in the living room, Emily between the two on the couch. Mr. Fields kept teasing his daughter every time she jumped during the thriller, and Alison longed for a father who joked around with her like that. But she enjoyed spending time with the two of them, especially when Emily would jump and her hand would land on Alison's leg.

"Your dad's a really nice guy," Alison later said thoughtfully as she brushed her teeth next to Emily who was waiting to shower.

"I wonder how he'd take it if he knew I was dating you," Emily said.

"I bet he'd be okay," Alison reassured. "I mean of course you never know, but I have a feeling."

Alison rinsed. She gave Emily a peck on the lips and smiled with a goofy grin on her face. "Come to bed okay as fast as you can okay?" Emily nodded vigorously and Alison skipped out of the bathroom, only to see Mr. Field's conveniently coming up the stairs simultaneously.

"Alison," he said with a knowing look.

"Yes sir?" she asked batting her eyes.

"Is Emily in the bathroom?"

"Yes she was about to hop in the shower," Alison answered honestly.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Alison said a little nervous. The army man looked intimidating as she realized how defined he was, just like Emily.

"Is there something going on between you and my daughter?" he asked in a low voice looking at her carefully. Alison considered lying, but as she looked at his face closely she noticed no negative signs.

"Like what sir?"

"I've seen the way you look at each other, and how the two of you behave as 'friends'. I have a knack for reading people," he said chuckling. "And I can tell you do too."

"It's one of my best skills," Ali admitted then swallowed thickly. She'd never been in this situation before. The last person she dated had been for like two weeks and it was years ago. "I really care about Emily. And she really cares about me. I don't think I should be the one to flat out tell you what's going on, but I do care about her, so much."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Her mother may need to warm up to the idea a bit, but she is still in the dark for the most part. She has her suspicions though."

"Emily wanted to tell you guys, she just didn't know when or how, and she's afraid. And I was not about to push her," Alison said firmly. "I don't blame her. People in this town can be really judgmental. I mean I'm afraid to tell people too, but I would do it for Emily. She's sensitive and I don't want anyone to hurt her."

"You're a good girl, Ali," he said and she was glad that for once somebody saw her as that and not a horrible bitch. "Be good to my Emmy."

"Of course," she said with a smile and she liked how easy it was for her to slip into girlfriend mode. But she paused quickly. "Mr. Fields?"

"Yes Alison?"

She smiled at him genuinely with admiration. "I wish my dad was like you."

He just chuckled and nodded at her and she grinned before going into Emily's room.

When Emily came into the room, Alison patted a spot on the edge of the bed. Emily looked at her quizzically and Alison raised an eyebrow warning Emily not to question her.

The swimmer walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, and Ali went over and kneeled behind her on the mattress.

"I wanted to do something nice for you," Ali said in a sultry voice near Emily's ear as she leaned down. Her hands rested on Emily's shoulder before her thumbs dug in to the spot right below her neck on her back and Emily let out a moan before she could stop herself and her hand flew over her mouth.

"I guess it feels good then," Ali said smiling as she continued to massage the tanned skin beauty. "You're really tense babe."

"You know what's funny? I feel like this is so natural, like we've been doing this all along," Emily said with a grin.

"Because we have," Alison said smiling. "Except, you know, for when I was being an asshole."

"I guess I'm rubbing off on you," Emily said repeating Alison's words from earlier.

"You flat out make me want to be a better person, Emily Fields. Because I want to be better FOR you," Alison clarified. Emily hummed happily as fingers worked to relax her.

"Aria came over today," Alison told Emily. "She's my second favorite after you."

"What'd she want?"

"She believed my intentions were pure. And I knew she would, she feels everything very deeply. That's why I like her," Ali said thinking about the petite brunette. "She wants me to be happy."

"Good," Emily said as she bit her lip while Alison's hands went at a particular knot in her back. They kneaded with expertise and Emily squirmed slightly from the pressure.

"Did I hurt you?" Alison asked stopping, worried.

"No, it's just really tight," Emily said breathily and Alison swallowed at the double entendre as she felt desire pool at her core.

"Emily I think I have a problem," Alison commented as she kept working on her back.

"Not another one of those problems you need my help solving," Emily fake groaned as she teased the blonde.

"No seriously. I think I might have the highest sex drive ever," Alison said frowning.

"It's probably a result of what happened while you were growing up," Emily said cautiously.

"Probably, fuck Cece," Alison cursed under her breath.

"I don't mind," Emily said shyly as she stopped the massage and pulled the blonde's arms around her in a tight hug.

"You say that now," Alison said with a cheeky grin as she leaned her head around and kissed Emily's cheek.

"I could never get tired of you," Emily said honestly.

"Again, you say that now," Alison said smirking. "I am a lot to handle Em."

"I handled you pretty okay that night didn't I?" Emily teased but she saw Ali's eyes darken slightly with desire. "I didn't hear any complaints."

"Seriously, Em," Alison said trying to stay focused. "I just…I just want you to know that. You know I can be a bitch. And I mean there's still so much you don't know about me. Like, for example, if it's not cold enough in the room, I can't fall asleep."

"So that's why your house is always freezing," Emily commented. "How do you survive at Hanna's house?"

Alison snorted. "And how often do you think I'm at Hanna's for sleepovers?"

"Good point," Emily agreed. "But anyway, I don't care Alison. You haven't scared me away yet."

"I'm afraid, it's scary to trust someone this much," Alison admitted. "I do, I do trust you. I'm just scared you'll grow tired of me or I'll become too much for you to handle."

"You're that insecure about us?"

"Well you've never really dated anyone you actually liked, and I'm the first. What if I'm not the last? People have always told me I'm too much to handle, or that I'm not worth sticking around for. Like my parents, guys I hooked up with, or Jason even. And if you hear that enough, you begin to believe it," Alison said quietly.

"I wouldn't want you any other way," Emily said firmly.

Ali smiled before frowning again.

"I have to tell you something. I got a text from Cece during dinner."

"What did it say?" Emily asked suddenly extremely anxious.

Alison just pulled her phone out and showed her. _I heard you were getting cozy with Emily at The Brew. Keep your mouth shut, or one of us will and you'll wish you listened. _

"I don't wanna know what she'd try if she knew we were dating," Ali admitted painfully. Emily didn't know what to think. She was pissed, sad, and anxious simultaneously all of a sudden. Alison watched a surge of emotion appear on Emily's face.

"This needs to end," Emily finally said angrily. "I don't feel safe with you at your house. She knows how to get in doesn't she?"

"She could if she wanted to, but she's not exactly my mom's favorite of my brother's friends," Alison affirmed. "I'll stay here Em until we figure it out," Alison said as she took Emily's hands and rubbed it gently.

"She's not going to touch you again," Emily whispered fiercely.

"You know what I daydreamed of today?"

"What?"

"Next year, when we both escape Rosewood and all this shit. I'll have a chance to start over," Ali said with a dreamy sigh.

"I can't believe you'd be any less mischievous or…intense," Emily teased.

"No, but I can get rid of my infamy," Ali said with a twinkle in her eyes. There was a pause, but the daydream was rudely interrupted.

"Cece needs to pay for what she did," Emily said gently, distracted and unable to get horrible images and thoughts out of her mind.

"We should just let it go for now," Alison said uncomfortably, anxiety rising quickly over the situation.

"Ali, she terrorized you for so long," Emily argued.

"Exactly Em, she knows how to get away with it."

"But she can't just get away with it anymore, it needs to stop."

Alison pursed her lips tightly, not knowing what else to say and not wanting to argue. Emily was clearly unhappy about the situation and Alison didn't know what to do. They both eventually went to sleep, next to each other, but miles apart in their minds.


	13. Think Twice

**One week later.**

"Hey Alison."

The girls at Spencer's locker turned to see none other than Ian, who worked as the gym teacher/field hockey coach. Emily visibly tensed up causing Hanna to look at her funny.

"Ian," she said coldly acknowledging him.

"It's Coach Thomas at school," he corrected her. "Is your brother back today? I wanted to stop by and see him."

Nobody but Alison and Emily saw the menacing look in his eyes.

"I'm not sure," Alison replied tight lipped. "You'll have to check with him. I'm hardly home these days."

"Oh yeah? Where are you at these days?"

"Around."

"Ali!" came another voice and the girls saw Noel Kahn approaching. "I haven't heard from you in a while. Sup Coach Thomas?"

"Noel," he nodded and left.

"I've been busy," she said vaguely.

"Maybe you can be not busy this weekend and come see a movie with me," he said cockily and Emily was extremely uncomfortable even as Aria patted her back subtly.

"I'm not interested, Noel," she said nonchalantly.

"Oh come on Ali, stop playing hard to get. You texted me asking me to come over last time, remember?"

Ali went into her notorious full on bitch mode as she got up in Noel's face. "That was a mistake," she hissed. "I told you I'm not interested. So you can take your sorry, high and mighty ass and leave me alone."

"Whatever," he grunted. "All the guys already think you're a slut. How's it feel knowing they think I fucked your brains out? It's all anyone can talk about."

"I think you should leave her alone," Spencer spoke up in a dangerously low warning voice, surprising Alison.

"Or what," he scoffed.

"Or some nasty vile rumor will soon be circulating the school about Noel Kahn's dirty dick," Hanna hissed, also surprising Alison. "Leave her alone."

He scowled and shook his head as he brushed past Alison, knocking her with his shoulder.

As soon as he was out of sight, the blonde turned back to her friends with an appreciative look on her face.

"Thanks guys," she said nodding to them.

"What are friends for," Spencer murmured. Hanna nodded in agreement.

"You guys should come over to my house after school today, if you want," Alison offered. "Em and I were gonna watch Divergent. You don't mind do you Em?"

"No, not at all," Emily confirmed, knowing that this was Alison's way of thanking them. She wasn't very good at expressing how she felt yet.

"I'm down," Aria piped up as Spencer and Hanna nodded.

"Cool," Ali said smoothly as she looked at Em and tilted her head down the hallway. Emily silently nodded and followed the blonde as the five split up.

"That was more than uncomfortable," Emily said in a low voice. The two of them briskly walked down the hall and out of school.

"I know I'm sorry Em," Ali said apologetically before her face darkened. "I'm going to kill Noel."

"Can we just…skip class the rest of the day? It's Friday, and I'm just worn out. And now I _really_ don't feel like being here," Emily admitted.

"Yes, we can skip," Alison agreed. The entire week had been tense between the two of them. The tension of Alison's past and the unsure future weighed heavily between them and though they had spent every night together, there was an unspoken rift. It had gotten progressively worse as the week went on after Emily's father left. Alison could feel the emotional distance that Emily was putting between them and she didn't handle it well. She had been short tempered with nearly everyone.

There was a particular instance where she even snapped at the swimmer, instantly regretting it. They had been driving home from getting coffee one night and Emily had made a comment under her breath about Friday being doomsday because Jason came back which meant the reappearance of his psycho friends. Alison had looked at her testily in return and bitterly snapped, "Well it seems like I'm going to face doomsday alone if you're going to keep brooding like some stupid emo kid."

Emily had flinched but she regained her steely composure quickly and just shot Alison a disappointed look. The blonde wanted to apologize, but she was too angry and too proud to. She felt guilty honestly- it seemed like Emily would break soon with all the bullshit involving Cece surely coming back into play. The last two weeks had felt like a vacation, and now she was stuck facing reality with Emily. The two didn't speak until late that night when Alison broke the silence and muttered something about needing homework help and they became civil again.

Now, Alison watched as Emily's eyes seemed far away and sunken in, her face really was tired. She figured the swimmer hadn't been sleeping much since Alison had been waking up randomly in the middle of the night to see Emily still wide awake.

"Em, are you mad at me?" Alison asked as they walked.

"No," Emily simply replied.

They continued walking in an uncomfortable silence and Alison couldn't stand it. She always wanted be around Emily but right now the blonde thought she'd rather be anywhere else but there. They eventually made it back to Emily's house and the swimmer made a beeline for her room with Alison hot on her tail, shutting the door behind them. Of course Mrs. Field's was at work, and Alison thought to herself that they _should_ be fooling around or something fun. But instead, neither of them knew how to talk about their feelings on the taboo subject of Alison's past.

"Is this because of Cece? Is it because I did stupid things before, or cause I won't tell anyone, or-"

"Just drop it Ali," Emily said sighing but her voice wasn't malicious, it was just exhausted.

"I don't want to drop it," she insisted fiercely. "You've hardly looked me in the eye all week! And when I try to touch you, you're just not really there."

"It's-"

"You said you wanted to be there for me as my girlfriend, but you don't even seem to want to be around me ever since Cece sent that text," Ali said crumbling weakly, tired of being a bitch all week. She was thankful Emily had suggested skipping because she wasn't sure she would have lasted without some sort of emotional breakout in school whether it was lashing out or crying. "I feel like you realized how terrible I am and you're ashamed of me or something."

"Alison I'm not ashamed of you," Emily replied fiercely as she sat down on her bed with a frustrated huff.

"Then what is it? Is this because of Noel-"

"Stop talking," Emily blurted out. Alison looked at her not knowing what to say, and Emily sighed before pulling at her hand to sit her down on the bed next to her.

"It's just that, whenever Cece sent that text I realized how real and present and dangerous she is," Emily started to explain with difficulty. "And the thought of her hurting you…"

Emily swallowed thickly. Alison just watched with focused eyes, not knowing quite where this was going but satisfied that the brunette was finally opening up.

"When I think about Cece with her hands all over you, even just barely touching you, it makes me sick, like actually sick," Emily admitted in a low voice. "I can literally feel my stomach turning right now. The thought of _anyone_ touching you…it's just really unsettling."

Alison looked at her hesitantly. "So you _are _upset because I was a slut?"

"For the hundredth time you are not a slut," Emily said exasperatedly. "I'm just scared Ali. Really scared. When I walked in on you and Ian, I'd never felt so low. I'd never felt so disoriented and weak before. And now I know what actually happened, and I still feel so _powerless. _It scares me because I love you Ali, I love you so damn much. And I don't know what to do, because I want to protect you but I don't know how. I don't want to be hurt, Ali, and I don't want you to be either."

Alison watched as the swimmer fought for words as her own eyes started to tear up. She felt terrible for bringing her mermaid into this.

"I want to be the only one that touches you," Emily said softly and frustratedly with sad brown eyes.

"You are," Alison said in her tender, gentle voice that was reserved only for Emily. It was so full of devotion and feeling. "And I want to be the only person who gets to have their hands on you."

"But I don't want to live in fear that some day Cece or Ian or whoever is going to somehow get to have their way with you and get away with it again," Emily continued. "And I…it's just…it's intimidating because I feel so weak and useless and pathetic. And they're terrible people but they have all the power and they're strong willed-"

"Emily-"

"And the worst part is that when I think about all the people that you've been with, it's hard to believe you'd want me of all people. I'm really scared because I am so damn crazy about you, and I feel like a pathetic little girl who is super inexperienced in all departments and, on top of that, I'm unable to keep you safe."

"I'm scared too," Ali said in a small voice that she rarely even brought out around Emily. "I'm terrified. And yes, Emily, I have messed around with a lot of people. My body is so messed up because I was hypersexualized when I was 13 by Cece and the rest of them, and my parents dressed me up to make people wish they could have me. I did a _lot _of things that I regretted, and you are the only thing I don't regret.

When I feel your hand touch me, I don't jump, and I don't think you're trying to use me for my body. You may be lacking life experience in the sex area, but that's one of the things I love about you- I'm the only person you've been with, and that makes me so damn happy because I know you're careful about who you want to be with. It makes me feel so fucking special. And trust me, your lack of experience does _not_ affect your performance in the least bit."

Alison said each word earnestly, with conviction dripping with each one. "I want to be with you because I'm in love with every last bit of you, and I don't know how to put it much clearer than that. I trust you, completely- I know you would kill for me. I don't think you're pathetic or weak at all, you're the one person that's held me together all these years. I'm a coward because I don't know how to protect myself by telling the truth, but that doesn't make you a coward."

Emily looked hopeful, her eyes fixated on Alison. "So what are we going to do?"

"We'll figure it out, I promise," Alison reassured her. "We can put an end to this. I never meant to drag you into this and I'm sorry. But I just want it to be done in the safest way possible. Okay? I don't want anybody to hurt you because of things I've done. They could go to jail for years Emily, don't think that they won't do anything to stop us."

The swimmer just nodded, and Alison reached out and pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back comfortingly. "I missed this all week," she sighed. "I'm so sorry I dragged you into this and made you upset."

"I'm sorry, it's just hard for me to admit all that because I think I sound possessive and lame and needy."

"I'm yours, so be possessive all you want," Alison said joking lightly though she knew Emily would guard her with her life.

"Did you really mean what you said? You're in love with me?"

"You and only you," she said smiling like an idiot and leaned back to see Emily's face. "I'm not afraid anymore, Em. Of other people, or of myself. Being with you just feels right. I'd tell the world if you wanted me to."

"Our friends was a good start," Emily said contentedly as she hugged Alison harder and buried her face in her shoulder. "I don't want us to hide anymore either. It's tiring."

"I can't wait for all the lesbian jokes and name-calling," Alison said darkly as she reminded the two of the downside. Rosewood was a conservative town, especially the older generation. There wasn't a single out gay kid at their school, girl or guy.

"Ali…what if I'm gay?"

"What do you mean what if? You are so gay Em," Alison said with a teasing tone as she held Emily close to her, playing with her hair. "I've seen you kiss Ben. He's a cutie and you look like you just ate rotten food every time he touches you or gets close."

"I mean, I guess, it's different for you right? You're not gay…are you?"

"No, I'm not," she said matter-of-factly. "And maybe people will see us differently as individuals. But it doesn't matter, because you're the only person I want to be with. Girl or guy."

"I guess…I guess it's just weird knowing that you do like guys too, and I don't," Emily said trying to put her confusion into words. She didn't understand why it bothered her so much. "I can't compete with guys, it's like apples and oranges."

"Em, hush," Alison shushed her as she continued to play with her hair. "There is no competition. You won a long time ago. Once you're out Em, any girl who's even the slightest bit not straight will be falling all over you. And guys will be trying to turn you straight. I'm the one that should be worried about competition."

"Why?" Emily asked confused.

"I've had people after me for years, and I still choose you," Ali said softly. "You're going to get a lot of attention now, trust me. The star swimmer who's now dating another girl? Please Emily, people will notice what they've missed for so long."

"But nobody even comes close to you," Emily said with ease innocently. It was true, in her mind Alison was the most beautiful person she'd ever seen. Emily didn't quite understand it, but she didn't care.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Ali laughed softly. "God I love you so much. We're being so mushy right now."

"And what else would you want to be doing right now?" Emily asked looking up at Alison with a teasing knowing look.

"Emily Fields," she said with a joking grand voice as her eyes twinkled. "Are you suggesting I want to be inappropriate with you?"

Emily raised her eyebrow with a smile shaking her head and pulled back as she got up and pulled her shirt off before stretching. Alison swore her pupils dilated as her eyes widened with lust. "It got way too hot in here," Emily said with a half annoyed look at the physical temperature as she made a move to open the window. As soon as she did and turned back around, she found Alison jumping her and pushing her into the wall, lips all over Emily's as she pressed her body tightly to Emily's.

"Ali, school's almost out, the girls are going to be heading to your house," Emily protested weakly between kisses.

"They can wait," Alison said as she kissed down to Emily's chest causing the swimmer to squirm.

"Ali," she moaned. "You know we won't ever leave if we start now."

"But I've been dying for you to touch me all week," Alison whispered as she ghosted her lips over Emily's to her ear. "Please baby, I'll beg you."

Emily almost gave in, almost.


	14. All Time Low

**An extra long chapter for those who have been waiting patiently and kindly reviewing. Thanks for keeping up :)**

"Stop pouting," Emily said trying to stifle her laughter as she and Ali drove to Alison's house. The blonde was _so _not happy about having to stop their little heavy make-out session because Spencer called them asking where they were.

"Why did I invite them over again?"

"Because they stood up for you," Emily reminded her firmly.

She grunted in discomfort as she slouched down in her seat and crossed her legs tightly.

"Why am I so goddamn horny all the time," Alison groaned as the throbbing between her legs drove her crazy.

"Does it bother you?" Emily asked, looking at Alison out of the corner of her eye as she drove.

"A little," she admitted. "I mean, I'm not complaining when I want to…you know, but sometimes I feel like it's an excessive addiction."

"Sex addiction?" Emily asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well, I guess sexual behavior," the blonde corrected. She looked at Emily to see if the swimmer was phased, but her face remained nonchalant. Ali smiled fondly. "And just so you know, I decided that the night last week we were together was when I officially lost my virginity. Technically it would have been."

She saw a smile tugging at Emily's lips as the brunette tried to contain her excitement. "Truth be told," she admitted, "other than you-know-who, you're the only other person who's ever made me cum. As horny as I am, nobody ever got close to it, or I never let it get that far."

Emily's eyes widened. "So you've only had two orgasms ever?"

Alison had to choke back a laugh as she saw innocent Emily's face contort in confusion. It also was extremely funny for her to see Emily say orgasm because her eyes always blinked rapidly when she talked about anything dirty in an innocent manner.

"Of course not Em. I…you know…like that day in the shower,"

Emily's eyes got even wider, if that was possible. "OH, right," she said, her mouth suddenly dry as she realized the obvious.

"You don't?" Alison asked curiously. Emily hesitated to answer, and Alison clarified with a smirk. "Play with yourself, I mean."

"I mean like once, maybe, or twice, I don't know, a few times," Emily said her cheeks suddenly getting really red.

"Wait, you mean to tell me you don't even really touch yourself?" Alison asked shocked. She knew her mermaid was innocent but she figured that everyone at least pleasured themselves in secret.

"Not really," Emily replied quietly as she kept her eyes on the road.

"But you seemed at least somewhat experienced," Alison said suddenly lost as to how the innocent brunette barely touched herself yet could expertly touch her.

"I-I-I watched…a few times…to figure out what I was…if I was gay."

Emily struggled to explain herself because sex was really not Emily's most comfortable subject. She saw Alison's trademark smirk appear as she realized that Emily was admitting to watching girl-on-girl porn.

"Plus I've seen movies like every normal person," Emily defended herself.

"You really are the shyest, most innocent person I've ever wanted to be around," Alison chuckled slightly. "And then sometimes you have these wild moments where you surprise me. Like when you got really aggressive, god that was hot."

A shiver went down Ali's spine as she thought about that moment, how lustful Emily's dark eyes had looked. "It's amazing, you touch me and I feel like you know exactly what to do."

"It's so easy with you," Emily said softly. "I just look at you, and I want to kiss you, and I want to make you feel good. The first time you ever put your hand on my leg was the first time I'd ever felt anything like that. And, I think it just happens naturally when I look at you, it's like my body goes on autopilot and, my hands, my mouth, everything know exactly what to do."

"This is not helping my horny problem," Ali whined as she squirmed in her seat. "And now all I'm thinking about is how you've never had an orgasm before."

"I've come close," Emily explained embarrassedly thinking Ali meant it in a slightly negative way. Really, the blonde was way too turned on by the challenge to really be Emily's first everything. "I've just never been able to, and then I feel really weird about it and I just stop."

"Emmmm," Alison groaned as she slammed her head back against the headrest while they pulled up to the house.

"You can last a few hours can't you?" Emily teased as she shut the engine off. Alison looked like she was going to kill the three girls on her steps. And she would, if looks could kill.

"We'll see about that, I feel worse than a guy with a severe case of blue balls," she grumbled.

Emily just laughed and they got out of the car.

"Where were you two?" Aria asked innocently.

"Emily had to stop at home really quick before we headed to mine," Ali replied smoothly.

"Can we go inside? It's cold," Spencer said shivering with bloodshot eyes. She looked worse than she had this morning, or maybe Ali hadn't noticed with the whole Ian/Noel incident but she was worried.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Spence," Alison joked as she waltzed up to her door and opened it up. The house was empty, as usual. The five got settled in Ali's living room- Alison and Emily cuddled on a love seat, Hanna and Spencer on the couch, and Aria on another chair. It felt nice for Emily and Alison to be able to be themselves around their best friends even though Hanna and Spencer kept having uneasy looks flash across their face in discomfort whenever they looked at the couple. Aria however only occasionally looked in fascination, which Alison didn't mind.

As the movie started, Alison positioned herself so she was between Emily's legs with her own stretched across over the arm rest of the chair. She leaned her upper half of her body into Emily who held her as she buried her face in the swimmer's neck, inhaling deeply. Emily picked up a blanket by the chair and draped it over the blonde's legs.

"Are you even going to watch?" Emily whispered.

"No, I just want to rest," she stated, exhausted from emotional week. Her hormones were finally calming down and she was perfectly okay with not being tempted to fuck Emily the entire movie. The brunette nodded and kissed Ali's forehead gently and the blonde hummed, pleased, as she nuzzled Emily. The two on the couch watched the exchange and looked at each other before shrugging, but Aria was in her own world as she focused on the movie. Emily smiled as she saw Ali's eyes drooping and got settled in for the two hour movie as the blonde slipped into a light sleep.

X

Alison's eyes sleepily fluttered as she kept going in and out of a sleepy stupor. But she felt something that forced her body awake. She could hear the movie going, it was near the end, and Emily was in the same position. However, under the blanket, Emily was tracing patterns absently onto Ali's thighs over her jeans and her hand would wander up the skin right above her pants and back down.

She could tell the brunette was doing this absentmindedly because she was super fixated on the television and hadn't even noticed that Ali was awake.

The blonde felt a familiar heat begin to rise and she began to breathe a little harder. Emily let her hand feel the skin right around Alison's hips before dipping a finger just barely below into her jeans, reveling in how soft and smooth her girlfriend was. She grabbed Emily's hand under the blanket and Emily looked down, seeing a very sleepy Ali with a stern face. The swimmer smiled sheepishly realizing what she was doing to her now awake girlfriend.

But Alison slid Emily's hand onto her tummy and her mouth fell open slightly as Emily got the hint and used her nails to lightly trace patterns as she continued up her torso. For a second, Alison was afraid one of the other girls would notice, but she loved thrills, and so fuck it if the girls saw Emily feeling her up.

Alison did her best to act unaffected but she was craving Emily and the ten minutes until the movie ended felt like forever.

"Thanks for coming over guys, let's get coffee tomorrow before school," she said as she jumped up and eagerly ushered them out a few minutes after the movie was over, Emily following her amusedly.

The three were suspicious but didn't protest as they hugged the two. Hanna noticed a smirk on Em's face and watched Emily subtly touch Alison from behind. As Alison shut the front door she heard Hanna say to the other two, "I don't think we'd want to stick around for what's about to happen."

"Em- Emily where'd you go?" Alison huffed as she turned around and didn't see the swimmer.

She heard a creaking floorboard in the living room and padded over there, only to be jumped by Emily who practically picked her up and pushed her down on the couch.

"I thought they were never going to leave," Ali mumbled between kisses as she put as much friction as she could between her core and Emily's thigh between her legs.

"You're practically humping my leg like a dog," Emily teased before kissing her again and Alison grew wetter at the thought of Emily doing her doggy-style. But she let go of the thought for now, knowing this was all still new for the swimmer. She moaned, and let herself get lost as her mermaid gave her what she'd been craving all week.

x

The swimmer and the blonde laid on their sides facing each other on Alison's bed much later that night. Emily had a small smile tugging at the edges of her lips as Alison told her a story about how she'd tripped Spencer up once a few years back and confused the dorky brunette about the answer to a homework question causing her to give the completely wrong answer confident in class. Alison swore that Spencer had given her a murderous look comparable to her own as she saw Ali smirking next to her.

"It wasn't even in the ballpark range of correct answers," Alison giggled. "Neither were any of the other I gave her for that assignment."

"Ali that's terrible," Emily scolded though the smile on her face proved she was just as amused as the blonde was.

"She was getting too high and mighty for my taste," Alison said with her trademark devious smile. "Had to knock her down a peg or two."

Emily was about to respond when they both heard the door open and slam shut downstairs accompanied by multiple voices. They both knew Alison's parents had gotten home a long time ago. The blonde froze, she knew it was Jason but she was unsure who was with him. She had figured by 11 that if he wasn't home he'd be back tomorrow so she and Emily had relaxed. But she was wrong.

` "Shit," she muttered reflexively grabbing onto Emily's hand as she sat up. "I should lock the door."

Emily nodded and watched as the blonde silently got up and turned off the lights and locked her bedroom door.

"I don't want them to know I'm awake," she whispered as she sat on the edge of bed near Emily who offered up her hand and watched as Alison clutched it in a death grip. She'd never seen the notorious queen bee so scared and she wondered if this was how she was every night she was alone at home before. Any respect Emily had for Alison increased tenfold as she realized how terrifying it must be to feel unsafe in your own bedroom. The blonde had been suffering all this time and faced the fears on her own. She had to be the bravest person Emily knew.

"Come lie down, the door's locked they can't get in," Emily said softly as she tugged on Ali's hand. The voices got louder as they ascended the stairs and Emily watched as Alison began to tremble unknowingly and fidget. She couldn't even begin to imagine how violated she musts have felt every time it happened.

"I'm right here Ali," Emily soothed as she ran her thumb over the blonde's hand comfortingly. "They can't hurt you, I won't let them."

The blonde let out a dark laugh knowing that if it came down to it, Emily would rip them to pieces for her. She'd brought Emily to that aggressive state of mind before, and if the brunette loved her like she said, Alison knew she was ultimately safe. But she didn't want them to even come in and know how close her and Emily were getting. She would _kill_ them if they even so much as touched Emily.

"Ali, Ali are you home?" Jason called out, and he sounded wasted.

"I'll check her room."

The two girls looked at each other frightened and recognizing the female voice. The handle on the door turned and Ali jumped but it didn't open of course. Emily saw Alison's eyes fade and go to another place, and she knew that this was like a reoccurring nightmare for the blonde.

"Alison, wake up," Cece's sickly sweet voice came in through the door. "I know you're not alone. Jason just wants to know who else is over."

Ali felt her blood run cold. She knew that was a lie, he was wasted and didn't care.

"What do you want Cece?" she asked, trying to sound sleepy. She saw the brunette's eyes fixed on her with worry.

"Come out and say hi, I haven't seen you in a while," Cece replied and Alison could hear that she was drunk too by the way she spoke. But she wasn't wasted by any means.

Alison got up knowing it was more suspicious if she didn't answer the door. The last thing she wanted was for Cece to know someone else, especially Emily, knew their secret.

"Ali no," Emily whispered in a hushed voice but Alison unlocked the door and opened it a crack.

"What, Cece?" she asked in a polite sounding voice but she was glaring daggers at the older blonde.

"Jesus Ali, I just wanted to say hi," Cece replied nonchalantly as she pushed the door open wider and saw Emily sitting up in bed. Her lips curled into a feral smile as she looked between the two.

"Hey Emily, you two having a sleepover?"

Emily nodded as Alison crossed her arms, ready to attack Cece if she even reached out to touch Emily.

"So sweet," she said in a fake voice that both girls could see through. "Alison would beg me to sleep with her when I stayed here with Jason some nights."

"I did not," Ali retorted knowing she would never beg the older blonde for anything except to get lost. Cece had reached out to her every time they had done anything ever.

"Don't you remember? We had so much fun," Cece said, venom dripping off every word as Alison remembered the way Cece had forced her way in and used her body. She stood with her jaw locked as Cece looked at Emily whose brows were furrowed. "She didn't tell you? Ali used to have the biggest crush on me. She tried to seduce me, but I told her I didn't feel that way- she was too easy. She was super desperate, always trying to kiss me and-"

"I think you should go," Alison growled, not wanting to listen to bullshit for another second. She saw Emily's disturbed face and she hoped to God that it was a pretense and that her girlfriend knew this was all bs.

"Maybe you and Emily could get it on instead, since you wanted to be with a girl so badly. Though if I were you Emily I wouldn't want sloppy seconds, or thirds, or in Ali's case filthy fifths."

Emily's eyes were swirling with anger and hurt and Cece smirked, satisfied thinking she'd just destroyed the two, and bounced out of the room. Ali slammed the door shut behind her as she saw Emily get up with a murderous look on her face and head for the door.

"I'm gonna fucking kill her," Emily growled under her breath as Ali pulled on her arm and stopped her.

"Not now," Ali pleaded her hold on Emily's arm tight. "Please Emily. She was just trying to get under your skin-"

"Well she did a damn good job of it," Emily said in quiet angry voice that was almost foreign to Alison as she ripped her arm away from Alison.

"Baby listen to me, it's not going to do any good for you to go out there and rip her to pieces right now okay?"

"Did you hear her?" Emily almost shouted but hushed her voice realizing if Cece was right outside, she could easily listen. "She was mocking the way she _raped _you Ali. Right to your face, and to mine."

"Cece is a very dangerous person okay? She got revenge on a guy once by framing him for a crime. He's in jail now, for five years. If you go out there and you show her how much you love me, and how much you know about what happened, she would severely hurt you. Even she can tell that if she really wanted to hurt me, all she'd have to do is hurt you. She _knows_ Emily, she's always known how I felt."

"Fine, we'll do it your way, but we need help," Emily said as she tried to calm down. "We need help or we'll never be able to stop this. You can't just ignore it and hope it goes away, Ali. I won't sit here and just watch it happen."

"What do you want me to do?" Alison pleaded seeing how worked up Emily was. She'd never seen the swimmer so distraught. "I'll do anything to make this stop, Em."

Alison's heart swelled because it was still new to her having someone care _this_ much. At the same time, it overwhelmed her. She'd been alone for so long, practically her entire life. And that was her own fault, she had left herself guarded on purpose. But the fear and stubbornness had been imprinted in her so long ago that she knew the reason she never confessed, never told anyone, was because she was afraid of being perceived as weak. That was until Emily. When she felt herself being able to be around the brunette comfortably, she realized that for the first time she was able to let her guard down.

And if Alison was honest with herself, she would never even consider trying to properly end this situation if it wasn't for Emily. She was stubborn and thickheaded mostly, but she also felt in a sick way that she deserved what she got. Beneath her high and mighty hard exterior was a girl with no self-esteem who barely knew how to love anyone, let alone herself. The humiliation and guilt that accommodated the reality of it all caused Alison to force herself to power through it on her own. She was the indestructible Alison DiLaurentis after all.

But then Emily came along and changed everything. When she met Emily, Alison had been jumping from fling to fling and getting drunk with Cece and the rest of them on the weekends. At first Alison couldn't figure out for the life of her why she was so attracted to this goody-two shoes (besides the fact that she was super gorgeous) who was obviously crushing on her. But she realized that Emily treated her like a priceless valuable, the constant secret look of affection in her eyes was unlike anything Ali had ever experienced. Emily slowly taught her how to love herself.

As Ali looked into stormy brown eyes, she remembered every time Emily told her she was beautiful, and every time the swimmer insisted that she firmly believed Alison was a good person deep down. Her mermaid had come along and changed everything for her, and Ali would be damned if she didn't change this now for her girlfriend, and for herself.


End file.
